Alien Diplomacy

Place playlist. It was getting a lot of use. I scrolled through to FallOut Boy’s “I Don’t Care.” By now, I didn’t care what anyone thought or wanted. I was sick and tired of being trapped in this crazy town with all these crazy people who were, once again, trying to kill everyone I cared about.
    “Richard and I are going to engage the gaggle of goons waiting for us by the bathroom with a gate. Should we successfully get into the bathroom, we’re going to use the gate in it to get home.”
    “And what are you going to do when, as is so much more likely, you don’t get into that bathroom?” Chuckie asked, clearly voicing everyone else’s concern.
    I sighed. “We’re going to lure them away from you all and the floater gate. Once you’re all off the premises, I guarantee you they’ll leave the limos and travelers alone and go after me and Richard.”
    “Then what?” Tim asked.
    White shrugged. “Then we kick butt and take names.”
    “You are such a natural, Mister White.”
    “Kitty, that sounds really dangerous,” Caroline said nervously. “Isn’t your husband going to have a fit?”
    “He’ll have kittens,” Reader said with a snicker. It was nice to see that his ability to be the comic relief wasn’t waning, despite his promotion to head man.
    “He’s used to me. Caro, look, don’t panic. Just do what the boys say. Boys, be good, get back to the Embassy.”
    “And be ready to pull your butt out of the fire,” Chuckie added. “Right?”
    “Of course right.” I didn’t expect to need it, but then again, it never hurt to have Plan Z in place, too. “Ready, Mister White?”
    “Ready whenever you are, Missus Martini.”
    “Awesome. Then let’s go be the New Avengers again and cause some mayhem.”



CHAPTER 37
    W HITE AND I STEPPED US AWAY from our group and toward the latest Goon Squad. Yes, what I wanted was right by them and the bathroom, but it was too close. I wandered us off, casually, searching for another option.
    “Mister White, when you were Pontifex, you seemed to have an unlimited supply of whatever kind of cash you might need.”
    “True enough, Missus Martini. What of it?”
    “Do you still have that? Sort of like former presidents still have Secret Service details? Still on you and in active use?”
    “I do indeed. Again, what of it?”
    “I’m shocked you can’t guess. Must be three months of us doing absolutely nothing interesting making you rusty.” Happily, I spotted an option in the vicinity, within sight and sound of the Goons and everyone else. It was also located by an elevator and an escalator. It was the best we were going to get, so that meant it was perfect. I wanted the many innocents going in a direction away from the Goons, after all.
    “My shame knows no bounds. But I still have no idea why my having money would help in this instance. I doubt these men are bribable, at least, not in this situation.”
    “Pull your wallet out, and get ready to follow my lead.” While he did as requested, I put in my headphones, and hit play. I grabbed White’s free hand and started off. “Rick, honey, I’d like you to become a crazed philanthropist when I say go. Got it?”
    “I do, Kathy, I do.” Nice to know he remembered our undercover nicknames from Operation Confusion. I was all over nostalgia for that—we’d kicked butt big time.
    We went to the ATM machine I’d spotted. It was one of the ones that wasn’t actually attached to any bank and also charged an outrageous transaction fee. Good. No one was going to feel a twinge of guilt, particularly me.
    Fall Out Boy were sharing their disdain for others’ opinions, and I was revved. Now was as good a time as any. “Ready?” I asked softly. White nodded. “Then here we go.” I took a deep breath and screamed. “Oh, my GOD! It’s raining money!”
    White used hyperspeed and started spraying money out. I grabbed a chunk of bills and did the same, still squealing my head off.
    Unsurprisingly, it worked.
    People came running from all over the terminal as we sprayed the money in the direction away from the Goon Squad. As they arrived, many squealed along with me and called to their friends and relatives. Others tried to jostle for position. A couple of airport employees actually tried to protect the money. It was chaos, but chaos that was centered far enough away that the Goon Squad would have to leave position to regain a hostage opportunity.
    I looked around. Some of the Goons were