Always Watching

end up brain-damaged, or lying beaten or raped in an alley, if she didn’t just die from the overdose. I followed her down the hall to her room, but when I knocked, all I heard was the shower.
    Hours later, she still hadn’t come out of her room, and it was obvious she planned to stay there all night. I left her alone, deciding it was probably better to wait until morning before we had another talk—hopefully we would both be more relaxed. But in the morning she was gone, having taken only the stuffed husky with her.

 
    CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
    Expecting to be home with Lisa, I’d booked the next day off, which I now spent cleaning obsessively while I mentally went over our argument the night before. I still wasn’t sure what had caused it. Obviously, she’d been angry about my relationship with Garret—a surprise. Jealousy between siblings was common, but they’d been close, only growing apart after Paul died, when Lisa was pulling away from everyone. Did they have a fight I didn’t know about? Or, perhaps, while I was struggling with the loss of Paul, I’d put too much responsibility on Garret. Lisa, not liking authority at the best of times, would’ve resented that.
    While I was dusting, I noticed my purse had been moved. With a sickening feeling, I went through my wallet. I was missing fifty dollars.
    The first time Lisa had stolen from me, I felt angry, betrayed, and worried. This time I just felt grief and sadness—and fear soon followed when I wondered what she was doing with that money. What if she bought more drugs and overdosed again? The thought almost derailed me, but I mentally pulled up my socks and tried to think about what I was going to do about all of this.
    First, I went to the spare room and sat in the chair beside the bed, trying to think like Lisa and connect with her. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply, let my mind settle. Lisa had been hurt by something I’d said, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Also, she was upset that I doubted her, though in my defense she hadn’t given me much reason to trust her. Why had she stolen the money? I heard her voice in my head: You expect the worst from me, you’ll get the worst.
    Saddened by the thought, I was about to leave when I noticed a corner of a paper sticking out from under the bed. I reached over and pulled it out.
    It was a pamphlet for The River of Life Spiritual Center.
    I stared at the brochure in disbelief. How did she get this? Did someone give it to her? My gaze fell on their final slogan: “We Heal Your Body, Mind, and Spirit.”
    Lisa was the perfect target: transient, estranged from her family, and at the moment, extremely vulnerable. I remembered her question the night before about life after death. She was looking for answers, and I hadn’t given them to her—not the ones she wanted to hear. If she was already in the commune, would I be able to convince her to leave? She was an adult, so the police weren’t going to help. Then the thought crossed my mind that Aaron might’ve specifically targeted my daughter. I’d made a report, and I’d been talking to former members. I’d also told Mary and Tammy that my daughter lived on the streets. What if they contacted someone on the inside? Would he use Lisa to manipulate me?
    I made myself calm down . Just take it one step at a time. All I’d found was a brochure, which Lisa might’ve picked up anywhere. Before I projected too far in the future, I needed to find out if she was even at the commune or back on the streets. I considered phoning the center, but decided to contact Tammy first.
    She picked up after a couple of rings. I launched into my story. When I was finished, I said, “Did you by chance tell Nicole about my visit?” I was careful to keep my tone polite and not accusatory.
    She said, “No, I told you, I haven’t talked to Nicole in years. No one’s allowed to have cell phones, or e-mail accounts. If they want to call out, they have to use the phone in the main room—and they need permission. Even if I left a message, she probably wouldn’t call back. I didn’t tell anyone you were here.”
    So Mary wouldn’t have been able to call anyone in the center either.
    Thinking out loud, I said, “If I call the registration office, would they tell me if she’s staying there?”
    “No, they’re serious about protecting the privacy of the members.”
    “If she enters the commune, I don’t know what might happen. She just got out of the hospital.” I