Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

called a friend wasn’t bloody and dead in this boat I was hanging onto. Like we hadn’t ever been in love.
    “What is your friggin’ problem?” I asked, my voice full of the tears that I was battling to keep from falling. This was so not the time to be disintegrating into girly emotions.
    He turned to tread water. “You needt to ask me dat? Right now?”
    “Yes! I do!” I whisper-screamed at him. “I really do. Is what I did so bad that it can’t be forgiven? That you have to hate me forever? Didn’t we have something special that meant something to you?”
    He stared at me with a hard look for a what felt like a long time. Then he swam back, never breaking eye contact with me. When he finally got to the side of the boat, he grabbed the edge of it, facing me from not more than six inches away.
    “What you did … it hurt my feelingss. I trusted you.”
    His words made me angry. Angrier than angry. “Trust? You’re talking about trust? You of all people should watch your step when that word comes up, Bodo.”
    I had expected him to get mad, but that was not the emotion that came to the surface.
    “What are you talking about?” he asked.
    Suspicious. Guilty. He did something! My heart was beating so hard against my ribcage I was sure he’d see it.
    “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re no one to be talking about being trustworthy.” I really wasn’t sure what I was referring to; in my mind it could have been the fact that he’d hidden Nina from me, or his history, or any number of things. But for some reason, whatever was going through his mind was making him lose some of his anger. Now he looked more scared or bratty than anything else.
    “Whatever dey said, it’s not true.” He frowned.
    My mind was going a million miles an hour. Who’s they? What could they have said? Does he mean kids back at Haven? Kahayatle? The Amazons? It could have been anyone at this point.
    I decided now was not the time to try and worm it out of him. I had to play it cool until we were safe again. Then I would totally take him down for whatever it was that had him so worried right now.
    “Let’s just forget about it for now and deal with it later. We need to put Jason up on the bank.”
    “He’s too heavy.” Bodo wasn’t fighting me nearly as much now.
    Guilt, guilt, guilt. He’s done something. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. Energy surged into my body, giving me superhuman strength.
    I walked over to the edge of the river, hauling the canoe with me. I scrambled out of the water and grabbed the edge of the boat, pulling it up to the edge as far as I could. It wouldn’t stay there long, but I only needed it to be there for a minute.
    I reached inside and grabbed Jason by the shoulders of his shirt. Shaking him hard, I said, “Jason. Jason. Are you okay?” His head lolled to the side and for the first time I noticed that his eyes were open.
    I put my fingers on his neck, unable to feel a pulse. “He’s dead,” I said softly.
    “I already told you dat. He has a gunshot in his chest. Move him to da land. Come on.” Bodo stepped out and leaned into the boat, taking Jason by the side of his shirt.
    Together, we pulled his stiff body out of the canoe and dragged him up onto the bank, hiding his remains amidst the tree roots that rose up out of the water in a tangle.
    “What’s going to happen to him here?” I asked, as Bodo tipped the canoe a little, trying to get water in there to wash out some of the blood that had pooled and coagulated in the bottom. The smell of iron was strong, making my stomach churn.
    “Probably da gators will get him.”
    I swallowed past the huge lump in my throat, barely able to speak. “But that’s … that’s not right.” Tears burned my eyes.
    “It’s fine. Dat’s da circle of life. He’s gone now. Dat’s just da shell.”
    I knew he was right, but it still felt terrible to leave Jason here like this. He’d helped save those kids from the canners and had always been very loyal to his people.
    “Could you leave me out here like this?” I asked. It was a loaded question, but I had to hear the answer.
    “Of course not. Get in the canoe,” he said, not looking at me.
    “The canners are going to pay for doing this,” I said, getting in while he steadied it. I prayed Rob, Winky, and Paci had gone directly to the ranches and not tried to go through here first. I didn’t want to find anymore friends like this.
    I tried to avoid