Beach Blanket Santa

begging me to—”
    “Matt, I don’t see why you…” She set down her wine, seeming to grow uncomfortable. “What I mean is, that’s all ancient history.”
    He set down his wine as well and laid his hand on top of hers. “Is it?”
    Her cheeks colored slightly. “I’m not sure what you want me to say. That wasn’t me. I’m normally not like that.”
    “Let’s hope not!” he said with a laugh.
    She withdrew her hand, affronted. “What do you mean?”
    “All sick and pukey? Most girls wouldn’t want to live through that twice.”
    “Sick and…?” Her voice fell off with the shock.
    “Yes, Sarah. You were deathly ill. All over your bridesmaid’s dress, in fact. I had to take it off to clean it.”
    “I what?”
    “That’s probably why you repeatedly begged me to please forget this in the morning. ”
    “I said that?”
    “Well, yeah, between, you know…” He motioned with his hands, and she got the picture. “Not that I totally blamed you. I wasn’t up for remembering certain parts of it myself. Hang on, are you saying you don’t remember?”
    She shook her head, her cheeks blazing brightly.
    “Not even the part about making me swear I’d leave, just get out of your life, and never breathe a word about it to anybody?”
    She pursed her lips, struggling with a murky memory. “I remember making you swear, swear…something.” Big brown eyes met his. “But to be honest with you, Matt, most of the night is a great big blur.”
    “Then it’s a good thing nothing happened between us,” he said, lightly teasing. “For most men, that admission could be a killer.”

    Her eyes lit with understanding. “So…we didn’t?”
    “No.” He cocked his chin to the side. “We didn’t. Not that I didn’t want to, mind you. Especially when we first got back to your place, and you kissed me like a house on fire. Heck, I’m only human. But, I wouldn’t have. Never like that. Not once I realize your condition.”
    “And all this time I thought…” She heaved a sigh of relief. “But, no?”
    “Is that why you told me to leave?” he asked, his voice growing husky with the truth. “Because you thought I’d taken advantage of you?”
    “I never blamed you. I thought it was both of us.”
    “Oh, it was both of us, all right. Just not in the way that you imagined.”
    She stared at him deeply, apology in her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
    “I had no idea either,” he said softly. “No clue why you gave me the boot. While you’d told me to go throughout the night, I’d taken that to be the liquor—and possibly embarrassment—talking. I thought for sure once you woke up and saw things straight, we’d talk things out, maybe even laugh about them. But instead, you just handed me my coat and said—”
    “I think you should go.” She hung her head, seeming to relive the moment.
    “The truth is, I thought that we’d been getting along. Maybe had started something.”
    She raised her eyes to his. In the ensuing quiet, Matt thought he could hear every drop of rain pinging on the tin roof. When she finally spoke, her lips trembled, and it was all Matt could do not to lean forward and kiss them. “I thought we’d started something too. But sometimes life has other plans, you know?”
    He nodded like he understood, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t. “Was there somebody else at the time?”
    She shook her head. “How about you?”
    “Not then, for me either.” He studied her for a long beat. “And now?”
    “I’m not seeing anyone, if that’s what you mean.”
    He captured her in his gaze, wondering if there was a way they could start over. There had clearly been an attraction between them in the beginning. “Me either.”
    “Matt,” she said sincerely, “I really apologize for what happened that night, and also for the way I judged you afterward. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. I see that now.”
    “We all make mistakes.”
    One of the biggest he’d made was failing to pursue things with Sarah. He might have called the next day. Attempted to see her. Instead, he’d just up and walked away from what could have been the best thing in his life. Then, within the next few weeks, he’d met Katya.
    “Thank you for saying that. That’s really gracious, considering the trouble I put you through.”
    “No trouble. I’m sure you would have done the same,” he said, knowing that would have proved logistically difficult. Matt tried to imagine the