Big Breasts & Wipe Hips: A Novel

he wailed as he stood on his tiptoes and stuck his head through the loop he’d made with his belt. Grabbing hold of the noose with both hands, he leaned forward and jumped. “I can’t go on living!” he shouted. He jumped again. “I’ve lived long enough!” The laughter in the room had a strange quality. Wu Yunyu, who was still nursing his anger, placed both hands on his desk, stuck out his leg, and knocked Fang Shuzhai’s desk out from under him, leaving him hanging there. He shrieked as he grabbed the rope with both hands and hung on for dear life, his squat, pudgy legs flailing in the air, but more and more slowly by the second. His face began to turn purple, he was foaming at the mouth, and a death rattle sounded deep in his throat. “He’s dead!” several of the younger children screamed in terror as they ran out of the classroom. Out in the yard they stomped their feet and continued to scream: “He’s dead! Fang Shuzhai hanged himself!” Fang Shuzhai’s arms were hanging limply at his sides by now and his legs were no longer flailing. With a jerk, his body stretched out long. A loud fart wriggled out of the crotch of his pants like a snake, while out in the yard, the other students were running around crazily. Ji Qiongzhi came out of the faculty office along with several men whose names and the subjects they taught I didn’t know. “Who’s dead? Who is it?” they asked on their way into the classroom, tripping on all the construction debris that hadn’t yet been cleared away. A bunch of excited and panicky students led the way, stumbling when they turned to look behind them. Leaping like a gazelle, Ji was inside the classroom in seconds. She looked confused as she went from bright sunlight into a dark room. “Where is he?” she demanded. Fang Shuzhai’s body lay fell heavily on the floor like a slaughtered pig. His belt had snapped in two.
    Ji knelt down and turned him face-up. She frowned and scrunched up her lips to block her nostrils. Fang Shuzhai stank to high heaven. She reached down and put her finger under his nose and then savagely pinched the ridge between his nose and mouth. Just then, Fang Shuzhai reached up and grabbed her hand. Still frowning, she got to her feet and kicked Fang Shuzhai. “Stand up!”
    “Who kicked that desk over?” There was anger in her look and in her voice as she stood facing the class. “I couldn’t see.” “I couldn’t see.” “I couldn’t see.” “Well, then, who did see? Or which of you kicked it over? How about showing some guts for once.” We held our heads way down low. Fang Shuzhai was sobbing. “Shut up!” she said, smacking the table. “If you’re really that eager to die, there’s nothing to it. I’ll teach you some surefire ways a little later. I don’t believe that none of you saw who kicked the desk over. Shangguan Jintong, you’re an honest boy, you tell me.” I let my head droop even lower. “Raise your head and look at me,” she said. “I know you’re scared, but you have my word there’s nothing to be scared of.” I looked up and gazed into that revolutionary face, with those beautiful eyes, and I was immersed in a feeling like an autumn wind. “I believe you have the courage to expose bad people and evil deeds,” she said crisply, “a necessary quality for the youth of new China.” I tilted my head slightly to the left, only to be confronted by an intimidating glare from Wu Yunyu. My head fell back down onto my chest.
    “Wu Yunyu, stand up for me,” she said calmly. “It wasn’t me!” he bellowed. She just smiled and said, “Why are you so edgy? Why shout?” “Well, it wasn’t me,” he muttered, tapping the top of his desk with his fingernails. “Wu Yunyu,” she said, “any person of worth takes responsibility for his actions.” He abruptly stopped tapping the desk and slowly raised his head, his expression turning mean. He threw his book to the floor, wrapped his slate board and slate pencil in a piece of blue cloth, tucked it under his arm, and said with a sneer, “So what if I kicked that desk over? I’m not going to stick around this shitty school! I never wanted to be here in the first place, but you talked me into it.” He walked arrogantly toward the door. He was tall and big-boned, the perfect image of a coarse, unreasonable individual. Ji Qiong-zhi stood in the doorway, blocking his way. “Get out of the way!” he said. “What do you think you’re doing?” Ji smiled