Buried In Buttercream

cats, like those old cat ladies you read about in the papers. They might even eat ’er dead body if she’s not careful.”
    “That ain’t gonna happen!” someone shouted from the kitchen. “You gossiping hens stop your cackling in there and mind what you say about my big sister! I won’t abide anybody talking dirt about her!”
    “We’re your big sisters, too,” was the yelled reply. “You get your bloomers all up your crack over somethin’ that’s said about your precious Savannah. But you don’t care what people say about us ! I’ve never heard you utter one single solitary cotton-pickin’ word in our defense!”
    “That’s because the two of you have mostly done whatever you’re being accused of ... usually worse. Savannah’s never done a mean thing to anybody in her life!”
    Dirk grinned at Savannah and nudged her with his elbow. “Is that Alma defending your case in there?”
    “Yeah. She loves me.”
    “And obviously doesn’t know you.”
    She elbowed him back.
    As they walked into the living room, which was littered with her sunburned relatives and Disneyland memorabilia galore, she heard another voice join the argument, one without the thick-as-molasses Southern accent. “I agree with Alma. Savannah is a wonderful person, and I think she and Dirk are very brave to keep trying like this. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
    Marietta gave a derisive sniff. “If you don’t succeed, try, try again. And if you still can’t pull it off, just give up. There’s no point in being a damned fool about it. That’s what I always say.”
    “I suppose you read that bit of wisdom on a fortune cookie at the Chinese joint back home, huh?” Macon said.
    As usual, Marietta and Macon were parked in front of the television set. Marietta was wearing a Tigger and Pooh tee-shirt that was a couple of sizes too small. Tigger had never looked more obscene.
    Macon had a pair of Mickey Mouse ears on his head, which looked a bit odd on a man of his considerable height and girth. But Savannah reminded herself that Mickey wouldn’t mind. He loved all his fans, whatever their size.
    Vidalia was stretched out on the sofa, one leg thrown up on the back of it. On her feet was a pair of bright green ballet slippers with large, fluffy pom-poms on the toes. Savannah wondered if she’d actually had to mug Tinkerbell to get those off the pixie’s feet.
    This time Vidalia’s literature selection was a movie world tell-all. According to the cover, the number-one male box office draw had sired a child with a female alien.
    Jesup was reading, too. Hers was a Goth magazine that promised to reveal the best-kept makeup secrets from classic horror movies. She was wearing a black hoodie with a pirate logo, enhanced with a skull and crossbones ... of course.
    Savannah sighed.
    They were a most literate and well-dressed family.
    “All right, stop talking about me,” Savannah said. “My ears are already burning like somebody poured Tabasco sauce in them.”
    Instantly, everyone became fascinated by their reading materials and the television show. A heavy, awkward silence reigned.
    Savannah was thankful for the peace and quiet, even if it was guilt induced.
    In the corner of the room at the rolltop desk, which constituted the office of the Moonlight Magnolia Detective Agency, sat Tammy. She was the only one not wearing an embarrassed look on her face ... or fantasy-resort wear.
    But she did look guilty.
    To Savannah’s deep sorrow, Tammy always looked guilt-ridden these days.
    If Savannah had the choice, she would have kept her scars forever if she could only remove that look from her dear friend’s face. In some ways, Tammy’s wounds seemed to be more grievous than her own.
    She walked over to the desk, tripping over some half-deflated balloons, a fairy wand, and a pirate’s sword on the way. She leaned down and kissed the top of her friend’s glossy, blond hair. “Hey, darlin’,” she said. “Good to see you with your nose back to the grindstone.”
    Tammy gave her a half smile. “I just thought I should come in and pay some bills. I know you feel strongly about having electricity and water.”
    “It comes in handy from time to time.” She lowered her voice. “Especially when you’ve been invaded by Sherman’s army. Can you imagine these troops without television?”
    Dirk joined them and gave Tammy the closest thing to a physical display of affection that they ever exchanged. He put a hand