Catweazle

never go back,’ said Carrot.
    ‘Never?’
said Catweazle, after a long pause.
    ‘The
loft’s about the only place. We’ll just have to risk it,’ said Carrot. But
before they could make a move they heard the tractor returning, and Carrot
pushed Catweazle behind the bales again. Silently, the magician handed him the
milk bottle.
    ‘O.K.’
said Carrot rather dubiously, ‘I’ll give it a go. But keep out of sight and
don’t move away from here.’ He went out to the tractor and Arthur grinned
nastily at him. ‘Can I help, Dad?’ said Carrot ignoring his enemy completely.
    ‘No,’
said his father, ‘I’m showing Arthur the ropes. Stop moping about and go and
give Mrs Skinner a hand with the breakfast. We won’t be long.’
    Mrs
Skinner sniffed as Carrot came into the scullery. ‘Where’s Arthur?’ she said.
    ‘He’s
helping Dad,’ said Carrot, hiding the milk bottle behind him. ‘Shall I lay the
table?’
    Mrs
Skinner nodded so he went through to the kitchen and began to put out the
knives and forks. Next he filled three glasses with orange juice, but topped
the fourth one up with the magic potion. He was only just in time as his father
and Arthur arrived for breakfast.
    Mr
Bennet poured milk on his cornflakes and then sniffed the jug.
    ‘Something
wrong?’ asked Mrs Skinner peevishly.
    ‘I’m
afraid the milk’s turned,’ said Mr Bennet, draining his orange juice. Mrs
Skinner pursed her thin lips, brought fresh milk from the scullery and then replaced
Mr Bennet’s cornflakes.
    ‘Er,
thank you,’ said Mr Bennett, ‘but I don’t think I want any now, after all.’
    Mrs
Skinner controlled herself with an effort and to Carrot’s horror passed Mr
Bennet her glass. ‘Have some more?’ she said. ‘I’m not very keen on the stuff.’
    ‘Thanks,’
said Mr Bennet.
    ‘I’ll
get your bacon and eggs,’ she said coldly, going out
    to the
scullery. Mr Bennett raised the glass to his lips and Carrot deliberately
knocked over his own.
    ‘You
clumsy idiot!’ said Mr Bennett, lowering the potion, while Mrs Skinner plonked
down his plate and marched out yet again to fetch a dish cloth, an expression
of martyrdom on her face.
    On her
return, she caught Mr Bennet sniffing at the orange juice.
    ‘It’s all
from the same tin,’ she said in an ominously quiet voice and, taking it from
him, drank the potion. ‘Perfectly all right,’ she said.
    Mr
Bennet looked at his plate again. ‘I’m awfully sorry, Mrs Skinner,’ he said,
‘but I suddenly don’t feel very hungry.’
    Now
whether it was the potion or just her own bad temper Carrot never knew, but Mrs
Skinner suddenly went berserk.
    ‘Men!’
she screamed, smashing her glass on the floor.
    ‘Mum!’
said Arthur, very alarmed.
    ‘You great
bully!’ shouted Mrs Skinner, pointing a quivering finger at Mr Bennet, who sat
looking at her in astonishment. ‘Think you’re Lord of the Manor, don’t you?
Ordering people about!’
    ‘Now
look here, Mrs Skinner - ’ began Mr Bennet.
    ‘She’s
having one of her turns,’ said Arthur.
    ‘You’d
’ave ’im down the mines if you could,’ Mrs Skinner went on shrilly, pointing to
Arthur. ‘Down the mines!’
    ‘What
on earth’s the matter with you?’ said Mr Bennet standing up.
    ‘You
can’t own us!’
    ‘I
don’t want to own you!’
    ‘Worn
my fingers to the bone I have, working for you!’
    ‘Don’t
be ridiculous - you’ve only been here a week.’ ‘Oh, so now I’m ridiculous, am
I?’
    ‘You’d
better go and calm down, Mrs Skinner,’ said Mr Bennet, moving towards her.
    ‘Keep
away from me!’ shouted Mrs Skinner, white with fury. ‘You lay a finger on me
and I’ll go straight to the police!’
    ‘You’re
hysterical!’
    ‘How
dare you! It’s lucky for you Arthur isn’t a bit bigger.’
    ‘What?’
said Arthur, worried.
    ‘Don’t
answer back,’ snapped his mother.
    ‘I
didn’t say anything,’ protested Arthur.
    ‘Yes
you did! Yes you did!’
    ‘I have
had enough,’ thundered Mr Bennet.
    ‘You’ve
had enough,’ yelled Mrs Skinner. ‘I’ve had more than enough.’
    ‘Then
you’d better go,’ said Mr Bennet angrily.
    ‘Don’t
you worry,’ shrilled Mrs Skinner. ‘We’re not staying here another minute. Come
along Arthur, we’re packing. You wait till my sister in Margate hears about
this!’ And dragging the protesting Arthur behind her, she slammed out of the
room.
    Mr
Bennet sat down slowly. ‘Well, that’s that,’ he said. ‘They