Cut and Run 4 - Divide and Conquer

reverently
    like that of a man in church. Or a man with a secret.
    Ty remained silent for several heartbeats. “Mostly it‟s just the
    desert,” he finally answered, sounding somewhat troubled. “But it‟s not
    bad, I‟m just there. Don‟t know which way is up, which way is safety,
    which way goes… back. I wake up tasting sand instead of blood, now.
    They‟re not like they used to be.”
    Zane was intimately familiar with the results of some of Ty‟s
    dreams and nightmares, and he knew about the desert. He snorted
    softly. He‟d never asked Ty to tell him, and Ty had never offered.
    “Don‟t know which way is up” described his own situation pretty damn
    well right now. Lost. Lost in the dark instead of the sand. Maybe Ty
    really did understand, just a little bit.
    He knew Ty and Nick had been close, very close, close born of
    blood and beer and sweat and tears and all of that clichéd Band of
    Brothers shit that really was true. Zane just wondered if they were still
    that close and how it was possible he didn‟t know about it after
    practically living in Ty‟s pocket for almost half a year.
    “How about you?” Ty asked. “You still dream?”
    “Every once in a while,” Nick answered. He sounded almost
    haunted. “I still wake up screaming your name, man. Just like you
    never came back.”
    “But I did,” Ty answered calmly.
    Zane heard Nick snort. "And I dream about that damn table."
    “Me too,” Ty admitted, the whispered words painful and drawn.
    Shifting uncomfortably, Zane laid his cheek against the cool
    wood of the doorframe. Something had happened to them, to Ty and
    Nick, something like how New York City and a serial killer had
    happened to Ty and Zane. Something horrible enough to make Ty
    sound like that when he spoke of it.
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    The silence below felt heavy with the past, and Zane‟s mind
    strayed toward painful memories of his own before Nick pulled his
    attention back.
    “Anyone but you, man, and I‟d have died out there,” Nick said,
    his voice harsh and laid bare.
    “We both would have,” Ty responded, his voice calm again, in
    stark contrast. “It‟s back there, Nick. Stay right here.” Zane heard his
    knuckles rap the wooden table. “Come on,” he finally said gently, and
    Zane heard a chair being pushed back against the hardwood floor. “You
    can take the pullout. I‟ll bunk with Garrett.”
    “Hey, Ty? I may be drunk and I may be Irish, but I‟m not stupid,”
    Nick drawled, letting the words run into each other almost insolently. “I
    remember what on the brink looked like, and it had your eyes.”
    Zane opened his eyes even though it was to complete darkness.
    He ought to get into the bedroom now while he had the chance, ought
    to at least shut the bathroom door, ought to know better… but on the
    brink … of what?
    “Talk to me, Grady,” Nick urged, and after a moment of silence,
    he added, “I mean, Jesus, after what we‟ve been through, if you can‟t
    tell me, who can you tell?”
    “There‟s nothing wrong, O,” Ty insisted, his voice remarkably
    calm and honest. “I promise.”
    “Okay,” Nick murmured, giving in and sounding unhappy about
    it.
    Zane could hear Ty moving, steps slow and measured and not
    nearly as quiet as when he was sober. “Good night,” Ty said to Nick,
    the tone of the words effectively saying “don‟t ask me again.”
    Zane stepped inside the bathroom and pushed the door shut with a
    quiet snick, figuring Ty would be on his way up the stairs. Better for
    him to come out of the bathroom and be told where to sleep rather than
    picking the wrong place to be. He leaned back against the closed door,
    wondering about the tone of Ty‟s voice. He sighed, wishing he hadn‟t
    listened. He hadn‟t heard anything inappropriate. In fact, he‟d heard Ty
    say some pretty damn nice things about him. But it just raised more
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    questions he couldn‟t get answers to. Shaking his head, he turned in
    place and reopened the door.
    The impact with Ty‟s body was almost immediate. Ty whuffed
    and wrapped his arms around Zane to catch his balance. “Slow down,
    Hoss,” Ty murmured. Zane could sense a smile there, but there was
    also lingering discomfort or annoyance. And a lot of beer on his breath.
    “You going up?”
    “I… I wasn‟t sure where to go,” Zane mumbled, not knowing if
    Nick was right there or not.
    Ty‟s hands came up to cover his cheeks, fingers