Cutler 05 - Darkest Hour

of destiny, another purpose. She's not like other girls her age; she never was. I always knew that and accepted it, but you, you're . . ."
    I saw how he struggled for the words to describe the difference between Emily and me.
    "Normal?" I offered.
    "Yeah, that's it. You're a regular young Southern lady. Now then," he said, straightening up with his hands behind his back and pacing in front of my bed, "when I accepted you into our house and family some seventeen years ago, I accepted the responsibilities of a father and as your father, I have to see to your future," he proclaimed. "When a young lady reaches your age in our society, it's time for her to think about marriage."
    "Marriage?"
    "That's right, marriage," he said firmly. "You can't expect to lollygag around here until you're an old maid, can you? Reading, doing needlework, spending all your time at that one-room school."
    "But I haven't met anyone I want to marry yet, Papa," I cried. I wanted to add, "Ever since Niles died, I have given up on the thought of love and romance," but I kept quiet.
    "That's just it, Lillian. You haven't and you won't. Not the way things are now. At least you won't meet anyone proper, anyone who can provide well for you. Your mother . . . that is . . . Georgia, would have wanted me to find you an acceptable young man, a man of some stature and accomplishment. She'd be right proud of that."
    "Find me a man?"
    "That's how things are done," he declared, his face reddening with his struggle to get what he wanted to say said. "This nonsense about romance and love is what's ruining the South, ruining Southern family life. A young girl doesn't know what's good for her and what's not. She needs to depend on much older, wiser minds. It worked well in the past and it will work well now."
    "What are you saying, Papa? You want to find my husband for me?" I asked, astounded. He had shown no interest in it before, nor had he mentioned it. A kind of paralyzing numbness gripped me as I began to anticipate the thing he was about to say.
    "Of course," he replied. "And I have. You'll marry Bill Cutler in two weeks. We don't need to have any sort of elaborate wedding ceremony. It's a waste of money and energy anyhow," he added.
    "Bill Cutler! That horrid man!" I cried.
    "He's a fine gentleman with a good family background and wealth. His beach property will be worth quite a bit of money in time and . . ."
    "I would rather die," I declared.
    "Then you will!" Papa retorted, shaking his clenched fist over me. "I'll do the honors myself, damn it."
    "Papa, that man is abominable. You see how arrogant and disrespectful he is, how he comes here day after day just to torture you, torture all of us. He's not decent; he's not a gentleman."
    "That's enough, Lillian," Papa said.
    "No, it's not enough. It's not. Anyway, why would you want me to marry the man who took away your family's plantation in a card game and teases you about it?" I asked through my emerging tears. Papa's expression gave me the answer. "You're making a deal with him," I said with dismay. "You're exchanging me for The Meadows."
    Papa shrunk back a moment and then stepped forward, indignant.
    "What if I am? Don't I have a right? When you were destitute, without a mother or a father, didn't I take you in willingly? Haven't I provided for you, put the clothes on your back and the food in your belly for years and years? Just like any daughter, you owe me. You've got a debt to pay," he concluded, nodding.
    "What about what you owe me, Papa?" I retorted. "What about what you've done to me? Can you ever make up for that?"
    "Don't you ever say such a thing," he commanded. He stood before me, his chest swelling, his shoulders rising. "Don't you go spreading any stories, Lillian. I won't have it."
    "You don't have to worry about that," I said softly. "I'm more ashamed of it than you are. But Papa," I cried, appealing to whatever softness there was left in him, "please, please don't make me marry that man. I could never love him."
    "You don't have to love him. You think all married people love each other?" he said, smiling sardonically. "That's the stuff of your mother's foolish books. Marriage is a business arrangement from start to finish. The wife provides something for the husband and the husband provides for the wife, and most of all, the two families benefit. If it's a well-arranged marriage, that is.
    "What can be so bad for you?" he continued. "You'll be the mistress of a fine house and it's my