Dead Guilty

armchair.
‘‘You can stay here some time,’’ Star said. ‘‘You and Uncle Frank don’t have to just get together when I’m out of the house.’’
‘‘We’re together now.’’
‘‘You know what I mean.’’
‘‘We’re doing fine, Star.’’
‘‘The two of you are so old-fashioned.’’
‘‘Are we?’’
‘‘I’m almost grown, you know.’’
‘‘I think almost is the operative word.’’
Frank came in with a glass of red wine for Diane. ‘‘We’re having Chinese tonight. How does that sound?’’
‘‘Great. It’s nice just to relax. How has your day been?’’
‘‘Slow. We’re working on some identity thefts, and they are always tedious to track down. Unfortunately, we often don’t track them down. Feel like eating?’’
As Diane suspected, Frank had the dining room table spread with enough food to feed the whole neighborhood. It was a compulsive habit of his— always buying more food than anyone could possibly eat. He always said he liked everyone to have a choice. She helped herself to fried rice, Mongolian chicken and steamed vegetables.
‘‘Want chopsticks?’’ asked Star.
‘‘Fork will be fine,’’ said Diane. ‘‘How’s school?’’
‘‘Boring. So, tell me about the mummy.’’
Diane repeated everything they knew about the mummy so far. She included the Victorian pickle jar. Star almost fell out of her seat laughing.
‘‘I’ve been talking to Star about going to college,’’ said Frank.
‘‘I really don’t want to. I mean, I’ll just have to take a bunch of dumb courses and stay bored to death for four years.’’
‘‘You could take something you like.’’
‘‘I like to listen to music and go to the movies. Do they have courses in that?’’
‘‘They have music, and I think they have a course or two in film.’’
‘‘Don’t you have to take a bunch of English and math?’’
‘‘Yes. You could learn to enjoy English and math.’’
Star looked at Diane like she’d grown a horn out of her forehead. ‘‘You’re joking, aren’t you?’’
‘‘No. Just think about what the courses do for you. What you’ll learn.’’
‘‘Yeah, like when am I ever going to use math?’’
‘‘I use it all the time, analyzing skeletons, exercising, cooking, working on the museum budget, hiring staff, balancing my checkbook. Most jobs require some math.’’
‘‘Not all—hardly any.’’
Frank sat back eating his Chinese food, listening to Diane and Star have their conversation. Diane guessed that he and Star had repeated this same conversation many times.
‘‘Why don’t you give college a try for a year?’’ said Diane.
Star made a face like she’d suddenly bitten into something rotten.
‘‘I’ll tell you what. Try it for a year and keep at least a two point seven grade point average, and with Frank’s permission, I’ll take you to Paris and buy you new clothes.’’
Star’s eyes grew wide. ‘‘Are you kidding? I mean, you’re not just saying that just to keep the conversa tion going?’’
‘‘No. I’m not just saying it. I mean it.’’
‘‘Like a whole new wardrobe?’’
‘‘Yes. I’ll have get used to life without an arm and a leg, but yeah, I’m talking about a lot of new clothes.’’
‘‘Oh, wow. What do you say, Uncle Frank?’’
Frank’s eyes had grown as large and round as Star’s on hearing Diane’s offer. ‘‘Think you can meet the conditions?’’ he said.
‘‘I’ll need help with the math.’’
‘‘You’re in luck, then,’’ said Frank. ‘‘I’m pretty good in math.’’
‘‘And the museum is a good place to get help in a lot of subjects. Think about it.’’
‘‘Wow. Just a year?’’
‘‘Just a year.’’
‘‘Wow.’’ She stood up. ‘‘I need to go use the phone.’’
When she left the table, Frank turned to Diane. ‘‘You know what you’re doing?’’
‘‘I hope so. I thought some incentive might help. Who knows? She may like college.’’
Frank reached over and held on to her hand. ‘‘That was really nice. More than nice.’’
Diane helped Frank put the food in the refrigerator, and they retired to the living room sofa. Diane curled up against Frank and rested her head on his shoulder.
‘‘Hard day?’’ Frank asked again.
‘‘The mummy was fun. But I guess you heard, we had another murder.’’
‘‘What!’’
‘‘This time it was the girlfriend of Chris Edwards, one of the guys who found the bodies in the woods.’’
Frank