Ender's Game (Ender Wiggins Saga)

place? A thing he feared most, or that he was ashamed of?”
      "Ender never did anything to be ashamed of." And suddenly, deep in her own shame for having forgotten and betrayed Ender, she started to cry.
      "Why are you crying?”
      She shook her head. She couldn't explain what it was like to think of her little brother, who was so good, whom she had protected for so long, and then remember that now she was Peter's ally, Peter's helper, Peter's slave in a scheme that was completely out of her control. Ender never surrendered to Peter, but I have turned, I've become part of him, as Ender never was. "Ender never gave in," she said.
      "To what?”
      "To Peter. To being like Peter.”
      They walked in silence along the goal line.
      "How would Ender ever be like Peter?”
      Valentine shuddered, "I already told you.”
      "But Ender never did that kind of thing. He was just a little boy.”
      "We both wanted to, though. We both wanted to kill Peter.”
      "Ah.”
      "No, that isn't true. We never said it, Ender never said that he wanted to do that. I just -- thought it. It was me, not Ender. He never said that he wanted to kill him.”
      "What did he want?”
      "He just didn't want to be--”
      "To be what?”
      "Peter tortures squirrels. He stakes them out on the ground and skins them alive and sits and watches them until they die. He did that, he doesn't do it now. But he did it. If Ender knew that, if Ender saw him, I think that he'd--”
      "He'd what? Rescue the squirrels? Try to heal them?”
      "No, in those days you didn't undo what Peter did. You didn't cross him. But Ender would be kind to squirrels. Do you understand? He'd feed them.”
      "But if he fed them, they'd become tame, and that much easier for Peter to catch.”
      Valentine began to cry again. "No matter what you do, it always helps Peter. Everything helps Peter, everything, you just can't get away, no matter what.”
      "Are you helping Peter?" asked Graff.
      She didn't answer.
      "Is Peter such a very bad person, Valentine?”
      She nodded.
      "Is Peter the worst person in the world?”
      "How can he be? I don't know. He's the worst person I know.”
      "And yet you and Ender are his brother and sister. You have the same genes, the same parents, how can he be so bad if--”
      Valentine turned and screamed at him, screamed as if he were killing her. "Ender is not like Peter! He is not like Peter in any way! Except that he's smart, that's all-- in every other way a person could possibly be like Peter he is nothing nothing nothing like Peter! Nothing!”
      "I see," said Graff.
      "I know what you're thinking, you bastard, you're thinking that I'm wrong, that Ender's like Peter. Well maybe I'm like Peter, but Ender isn't, he isn't at all, I used to tell him that when he cried, I told him that lots of times, you're not like Peter, you never like to hurt people, you're kind and good and not like Peter at all!”
      "And it's true.”
      His acquiescence calmed her. "Damn right it's true. It's true.”
      "Valentine, will you help Ender?”
      "I can't do anything for him now.”
        "It's really the same thing you always did for him before. Just comfort him and tell him that he never likes to hurt people, that he's good and kind and not like Peter at all, That's the most important thing. That he's not like Peter at all.”
      "I can see him?”
      "No. I want you to write a letter.”
      "What good does that do? Ender never answered a single letter I sent.”
      Graff sighed. "He answered every letter he got.”
      It took only a second for her to understand. "You really stink.”
      "Isolation is -- the optimum environment for creativity. It was his ideas we wanted, not the -- never mind, I don't have to defend myself to you.”
      Then why are you doing it, she did not ask.
      "But he's slacking off. He's coasting. We want to push him forward, and he won't go.”
      "Maybe I'd be doing Ender a favor if I told you to go stuff yourself.”
      "You've already helped me. You can help me more. Write to him.”
      "Promise you won't cut out anything I write.”
      "I won't promise any such thing.”
      "Then forget it.”
      "No problem. I'll write your letter myself. We can use your other letters to reconcile the writing styles. Simple matter.”
      "I want to see him.”
      "He gets his first leave when he's eighteen.”
      "You told him it would be when he was twelve.”
      "We