Eversea A Love Story

no picnic for me either. If being around Jack was fraught with tension on a normal day, this moment was totally throwing me off-kilter.
    “No. It’s okay.”
    He glanced over his shoulder at me, and then at my outfit and shook his head.
    “What?” I asked, self-consciously.
    “Nothing. You hungry?” he said still shaking his head with what looked like a rueful smile.
    I nodded.
    He made no move to go anywhere though, he just turned and leaned back against the machine, his arms folded across his chest. His eyes slid slowly down my entire body.
    My belly flip-flopped with enough waves to make a sailor sick. If he could just stop looking at me like that.
    “It’s not fair,” I whispered, deciding it was time to address the issue.
    “What’s not fair?”
    “What you’re asking of me.” Wow. I had really just said that, I was going to take this bull by the horns.
    “Do you want to spell it out for me? What is it you think I’m asking of you?”
    I stared at him, incredulous.
    “Are you serious? You can’t be that obtuse. Look at you. I was already half in love with you before I even met you because of the character you played, and you are totally taking advantage of that right now. I guess that makes me an easy target, but I’m out of my depth, Jack.” I steeled my nerves, my voice shaking slightly. But I was right to do this. I couldn’t be on tenterhooks the whole time with these almost kissing moments. It might kill me.
    “I’m just a normal girl, and I’m definitely not sophisticated enough to deal with you wandering off back to your girlfriend and your Hollywood life when you are done here.”
    “So you are only attracted to me because of Max? I mean, you mentioned it last night, and I kind of hoped you were joking.”
    “It’s not because of Max.” I owed him the truth, and in that moment I knew even if it had been the initial reason—it wasn’t anymore.
    He nodded, a cynical look in his eyes. “Yeah, right.”
    “Well, it’s the truth. Not that it changes anything.” I thought I sounded bitter. Well, so what if I did? I was basically admitting I was attracted to him, and he was asking for permission to break my heart. Way to go, Keri Ann.
    “Of course it does. It changes everything.” He pushed away and stood right in front of me, too close but not close enough. He seemed to struggle a moment, as if he couldn’t articulate what he was thinking.
    “God,” he finally said, his tone exasperated. “Do you think it’s normal for people to feel this,” he motioned between us, “whatever this is that happens when we are in the same room with each other? Maybe you have no idea, but I do. It. Doesn’t. Happen. At least not to me.” He stopped, seemingly surprised by his admission.
    I was too. I held my breath, my heart thudding.
    He sighed and went on, “I can’t make you the promises you probably want, Keri Ann, I’ll only break them. But I can promise you I’ll always tell you the truth.”
    Great. How could the perfect man come along and tell you he was feeling all the same feelings you were, but you couldn’t keep him?
    “The truth? And what is that exactly?”
    He was quiet so long, I thought he wasn’t going to answer. Then he raised his eyes to mine. “The truth is ... you’re right. It’s not fair what I am asking of you. I want you.”
    Time slowed down as his words floated around me. He wanted me. I didn’t know people said that to each other in real life. Now, Jack Eversea ‘wanted’ me. My pulse ticked in my clogged throat.
    He went on, his eyes never leaving me. “I have never wanted to kiss someone as badly as I want to kiss you right now. Ever. But I am going to leave here. I have to. I have to go back to Audrey. It’s a pretty messed up situation, but I’m not going to lie to you and say my relationship with her wasn’t real because it was, for a long time. But it has also been over for a very long time.” He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Or should have been. Shit, I shouldn’t even be having this conversation with you. You are absolutely right to tell me no.”
    But God, I wanted to say yes. I wanted to make a move, badly. It was like being strung out over an abyss. Whether I made a move or not wouldn’t make a difference in whether I would make it across, but only how fast I would hit the bottom. And hit the bottom I would, as soon as he left, but I would be okay. I would survive it. He was just a boy, at the end of the