Fall from Love

that this is what she really wants. That she really wants me. I know I want her—with everything inside me, I want her—and I’m hoping she’ll have me.
    The drive back to her house finally ends and, as I put the car in park, I slightly turn my head to glance over at her again. She turns to meet my gaze and, after only holding it for a split second, she turns away from me, opens her door and hops out. I meet her at the front of the car and she doesn’t say a word as she grabs my hand and begins to walk up the sidewalk towards the stairs.
    When we’re finally inside, she turns to me and I still see the desire in her eyes, but there’s something else there as well. Fear grips my heart and I’m convinced that she’s thought this through and she’s changed her mind after all.
    “Carter,” she says.
    I swallow hard. Here it comes . She’s going to tell me she needs more time and I’ll tell her I understand because I do and I’ll wait. I’d do that for her. I’d do anything for her.
    “I want this, but I’m a little nervous,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m not sure why, but I just wanted you to know that.”
    The grip on my heart releases. She’s nervous, I get that. I am, too. I’m not only nervous, but I’m scared. Scared out of my freaking mind at how much I care about this girl standing in front of me. I’m scared at how she makes me feel, but most of all, I’m scared of ever losing her again.
    The last few days without her, thinking I lost her forever, were hell for me. When I saw her car parked out in front of the mountain rescue headquarters, I’ve never been so relieved in all my life. When I saw her in the bed, sleeping, I stared at her for a moment before crawling in behind her, knowing in that moment that I loved her, that I couldn’t and didn’t want to live without her.
    I take each of her hands in mine, tangling our fingers together and then bringing them around her lower back, pulling her closer to me.
    “I’m nervous, too,” I whisper and kiss her softly, slowly, knowing there’s no rush for us to get this over with. I want to take my time with her. I want to taste every piece of her and relish in this moment for as long as I can. She kisses me back and pushes against me, telling me where she wants to go. I begin to walk backward, taking her with me, making small steps towards her bedroom.
    When the back of my legs bump against the bed, I pluck her off the ground and lay her down, trying like hell not to break our connection. Bracing myself over her, I kiss her carefully letting my tongue glide over her bottom lip, sucking it and massaging it with my tongue, before moving on to her top lip. I fight to keep my movements slow and deliberate, but when she sucks my tongue into her mouth, I nearly lose it. Her hands move down my back, gripping the bottom of my shirt, tugging it up and over my head, causing our lips to separate briefly.
    When I look at her, I see her eyes travel from the base of my stomach, upwards, before coming back and meeting my eyes.
    I carefully inch her shirt up and lift it over her head before returning to remove her bra. Starting at the base of her stomach, I kiss every inch of it, occasionally sucking on small pieces of her skin, causing her to give out the sexiest moan.
    As I unbutton her jeans and pull her zipper down, I cautiously glance up to her, wanting to make sure she is still okay with where this is going. She gives me an adorable smile that makes my whole body warm, and then she lifts her hips up, and I throw her jeans and underwear behind me, leaving her naked beneath me. My eyes never leave hers and she watches me intently as I unbutton and remove my jeans, causing my heart to feel like it’s going to explode through my chest. Before lying back down, I pull a condom out of my wallet and watch her closely, waiting for any sign that maybe she’s not ready to take this next step.
    With my bare body against hers, I kiss her lips softly before pulling back. “What I’m about to say to you isn’t because of what we’re about to do. It’s because of what we’ve been through, what you’ve done to me, and what you continue to do to me.” I kiss her again. “I love you, Holly. You’ve brought me back to life, something I wasn’t sure was even possible.”
    She starts to say something, but I can’t control myself anymore and my lips crush against hers. I kiss her deeply; kiss her with everything I have inside me, like I need her more