Find You in the Dark

share medical information regarding a minor with anyone but his family. But...” She looked around and then back at me. “You saved his life.” She said quietly.
    I put my hand to my mouth and tried to stifle the sob that rose up in my throat. Kelly Burke patted my back. “Clay is in ICU and is listed in critical condition. He lost a lot of blood. We had to give him three pints. He's still unconscious but we anticipate he'll be waking soon. We're not sure of the impact his blood loss has had on the rest of his organs and won't know until he wakes up.” She cleared her throat and dropped her voice even lower.
    “Aside from the physical ramifications, there are the psychological impacts that factor as well. The staff psychiatrist has been notified and will be in to see him once he regains consciousness. I don't anticipate him being released into general population for awhile.”
    I tried to stay on my feet, but I felt myself wobbling. I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten in almost twelve hours. I just couldn't take anything in anymore. Nurse Burke must have seen the look on my face because she gripped my arm and walked me to a chair. “Let me get you some juice. You look like you're about to pass out.”
    Nurse Burke returned a few minutes later with a foil-topped juice cup and paper-wrapped straw and placed them in my hand. I opened it and took a few sips and felt a little better. I pulled out Clay's phone, which I had grabbed before leaving the motel, and went through the contacts until I found his parents' number. I gave it to the nurse. She thanked me and then left to make the call.
    I sat there, numb. I felt completely empty. After another hour had passed, Nurse Burke came back out to let me know that Clay's parents were on their way. I simply nodded and thanked her. I pulled out my own phone and called my mom. “Maggie? Are you on your way home?” She asked as soon as she picked up. I took in a shaky breath and felt the tears start again, completely unbidden. “No mom. We're at the hospital.”
    “Oh my God! Are you okay?” She demanded in a panicked voice. “I'm fine, Mom. It's Clay. He tried to kill himself.” “Oh, Maggie! Where are you? We're coming to get you!” I told her the hospital name and she assured me that she and my father would be there as soon as possible.
    I hung up and dropped the phone onto the table beside me. I stared blankly at the TV mounted on the wall, unable to move. How did things get this bad so quickly? How could I have allowed it to get so out of hand? I blamed myself entirely for Clay being here.
    I should have stopped him from leaving town. I should have forced him to face what was going on with his parents. But most of all I should never have ignored how badly he needed help. I was the biggest culprit in the enabling category. My “love” had only made things worse for him. Because I had refused to see what was right in front of my face. My denial had failed Clay. I put my face in my hands and cried.
    A while later, I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I sat up with a start. Nurse Burke stood over me with a kind look on her face. “He's awake and asking for you. I shouldn't let you back to see him, but he's been very agitated, demanding to see you. We've had to give him a sedative. But I can only give you a few minutes.” I got to my feet. “Thank you so much.” I whispered as she led me back through a set of locked doors. The hospital smell made me feel light- headed and I tried to keep my breathing even and stay steady on my feet. Nurse Burke pushed aside a curtain and ushered me inside.
    Clay lay in a bed, with a bunch of wires hooked up to his body, the beeping of machines echoing much too loudly in the small space. “You can only have a few minutes. I'll be back.” Nurse Burke said, before leaving to give us some privacy.
    Clay noticed I was there and watched me as I came to his side. His eyes were heavy and clouded with the sedative. The white of his bandaged wrists stood out against the blue hospital blanket. He was deathly pale and he looked at me with an unreadable emotion as I gently took his hand in mine.
    “Maggie.” He said. His voice sounded as though he had been chewing broken glass. My name roughly rolling off his tongue. I carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. “Hey.” I replied, trying hard to smile. Clay closed his eyes. “I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did this to you. I'm just so, so sorry.” I didn't say anything, just leaned