Forest Kingdom Trilogy 1 - Blue Moon Rising

ago
    ...'
    'What's wrong with grass?' Rupert enquired mildly. 'Horses eat it all the time.'
    'I am not a horse!'
    'Never said you were ...'
    'I'm a unicorn, a thoroughbred, and I'm entitled to proper care and attention. Like oats and barley and
    ...'
    'In the Tanglewood?'
    'Hate grass,' muttered the unicorn. 'Makes me feel all bloated.'
    'Try a few thistles,' suggested Rupert.
    The unicorn gave him a hard look. 'Do I even faintly resemble a donkey?' he enquired menacingly.
    Rupert looked away to hide a grin, and discovered a dozen goblins had moved silently out of the shadows to block the trail. Ranging from three to four feet in height, depending on the bandiness of their legs and the length of their long pointed ears, they were armed with rusty short swords and jagged-edged meat cleavers. Their ill-fitting bronze and silver armour had obviously been looted from human travellers, and the pointed teeth flashing from their unpleasant grins suggested what had happened to the armour's previous occupants. Furious at being caught off guard, Rupert drew his sword and glared at them all. The goblins stopped dead in their tracks and glanced unhappily at each other.
    'Don't just stand there,' growled a deep voice from the shadows. 'Get him, lads.'
    The goblins shifted uncertainly from foot to foot.
    'He's got a sword,' pointed out the smallest goblin.
    'A big sword,' clarified another goblin.
    'And look at those scars on his face, and there was all that dried blood on his armour,' whispered a third, respectfully. 'He must have slaughtered hundreds of people ...'
    'Chopped them into chutney,' elaborated the smallest goblin mournfully.
    Rupert swung his sword casually back and forth before him, light flashing the length of the blade. The goblins gave ground furiously, all but trampling one other underfoot.
    'At least get his horse,' suggested the voice from the shadows.
    'Horse?' The unicorn threw up his head, rage blazing from his blood-red eyes. 'Horse? What do you think this is on my head? An ornament? I'm a unicorn, you moron!'
    'Horse, unicorn; what's the difference?'
    The unicorn pawed the ground, and lowered his head so that light glistened on his wickedly pointed horn.
    'Right. That does it. One at a time or all at once — you're all getting it!'
    'Nice one, leader,' muttered the smallest goblin.
    Rupert shot an amused glance at the unicorn. 'I thought you were a sensible, logical coward?'
    'I'm too busy being angry,' growled the unicorn. 'I'll be afraid later, when there's time. Line these creeps up for me, and I'll skewer the lot. I'll show them a shish kebab they won't forget in a hurry.'
    The goblins huddled together for comfort and retreated even further down the trail.
    'Will you stop messing about and kill the traveller!' roared the voice from the shadows.
    'You want him dead, you kill him!' snapped the smallest goblin, looking busily around for the nearest escape route. 'This is all your fault, anyway. We should have ambushed him while he was distracted, like we usually do.'
    There was a deep sigh, and then the goblin leader stepped majestically out of the shadows.
    Broad-shouldered, impressively muscled, and very nearly five feet tall, he was the biggest goblin Rupert had ever seen. The goblin leader stubbed out a vile-looking cigar on his verdigrised bronze breastplate, and marched over to glare at the tightly packed goblins cowering together in the middle of the trail. He sighed again, and shook his head disgustedly.
    'Look at you. How am I supposed to make fighters out of you if you won't fight? I mean, what's the problem? He's only one man!'
    'And a unicorn,' pointed out the smallest goblin helpfully.
    'All right, one man and a unicorn. So what? We're supposed to be footpads, remember? It's our job to waylay defenceless travellers and take their valuables.'
    'He don't look defenceless to me,' muttered the smallest goblin. 'Look at that dirty big sword he's
    carrying.'
    The goblins stared at it with a morbid fascination as Rupert tried a few practice cuts and lunges. The unicorn moved back and forth behind him, sighting his horn at various goblins, which did absolutely nothing to improve their confidence.
    'Come on, lads,' said the goblin leader desperately. 'How can you be frightened of someone who rides a unicorn?'
    'What's that got to do with anything?' asked the smallest goblin. The leader murmured something, of which only the word 'Virgin' was clearly audible. All the goblins peered at Rupert and