From the Heart

to rock as the wind picked up, but she had no sail, no oars to guide herself. The water stretched as far as she could see. There would be no swimming for land. She was lost and alone and afraid. She was only a child.
    When she saw the ship coming toward her, she shouted for it, steeped in relief. Her grandfather was at the helm, andraising a hand, he tossed out a life line. Before she could reach it, another ship floated up to her right. The wake of the two ships set her small boat rocking dangerously. Water hurled into her face and was soon ankle-deep on the deck. She was caught in the middle as each ship tried to draw her aboard.
    She couldn’t reach her grandfather’s life line. The waves were knocking her around the boat until she screamed in frustration and begged him to come for her. He shook his head and drew the line away. She was sucked closer to the second ship. And the waves grew high until they tossed her into the sea. Water closed over her head, cutting off her air, her light.
    “No!”
    She shot straight up in bed, covering her face with her hands.
    “Kasey.” Her cry had roused Jordan from sleep. He reached for her and found her cold and quivering. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
    “Just a dream.” She fought for control. “I’m all right, it’s nothing.”
    Her voice was shaking as desperately as her body, and though she resisted, he pulled her closer. “You’re not all right. You’re like ice. Hold onto me.”
    She wanted to do as he said but was afraid. Already she depended on him too much. She’d handled the dream alone before, she would handle it again. “No, I’m all right.”
    Her voice sharpened as she pulled out of his arms. She struggled out of bed and drew on her robe. When Jordan switched on the bedside lamp, she began to hunt for her cigarettes. He watched her as he reached for his own robe. There was no color in her face, and her eyes were dark with fright. She was shaking from head to foot, and her breath was still trembling.
    Finding her cigarettes, she fumbled to pull one out. “I’m a scientist; I know what a dream is.” She covered her mouth with her hand a moment hearing the jerkiness of her own voice. Her teeth were chattering. “A sequence of sensations, images or thoughts passing through a sleeping person’s mind.It’s not real.” She picked up Jordan’s lighter, but her hand shook and she couldn’t work it.
    Quietly he crossed to her. Taking the cigarette and lighter from her hand, he set them back on the table. “Kasey.” He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling her shudder convulsively under his palms. “Stop this. Let me help you.”
    “I’ll be all right in a minute.” She stiffened when he drew her close again. “Jordan, please. I can’t stand to fall apart this way. I hate it.”
    “Do you have to handle everything by yourself?” He was stroking her back, trying to warm her. “Does needing comfort make you weak? If I needed to be held, would you turn away from me? Kasey, let me help you.”
    With a sob, she was clinging to him, her face pressed against his throat. “Oh, Jordan, it frightens me as much as it did the first time.”
    Without speaking, he picked her up and carried her back to bed. Keeping his arm tight around her, he drew her against his side. “You’ve had it before?”
    “Since I was a child.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. He could feel the racing of her heart. “I don’t have it often anymore. Sometimes years.” She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. “When I have it, it’s always the same, always so vivid.”
    Her trembling had lessened, but he kept her tight in the circle of his arms. She was bringing out something new in him: the need to protect. “Tell me about it.”
    She shook her head. “It’s just foolish.”
    “Tell me anyway.”
    She was quiet a moment, then, with a sigh, she began. Her description was short and her words were unemotional, but he could sense the feeling beneath them. It was childishly simple to understand, but then, it had been the dream of a child.
    “I never told my grandfather about it,” she went on. “I knew it would upset him. I only had the dream twice the whole time I was in college.” Her voice had grown steadier and her hold on Jordan less desperate. “I had it once when I read a rehash of the custody case by some enterprising reporter who’d picked up on it when one of my uncles had been running for re-election. And again the night