Home Front Girls

Dad’s murder. I think I must have been in shock by then because I just stood there like a dummy. After that, Joel decided we should move. The newspapers had had a field day with the story and we knew that none of us would ever get any peace if we stayed where we were. That was when we packed up and moved here. Meantime Mum was kept in custody until her case went to court, but by the time it did she was too ill to be tried so they put her into the mental asylum. We went to see her every single week and she made Joel promise that he would always look after me and Mary. She said that I had suffered enough and blamed herself for not realising what was going on right under her nose.’
    Lucy lifted her head and looked straight at Miranda with a desolate expression. ‘So now you know why Joel feels responsible for me. But I don’t want him to any more and I’ve told him so. The trouble is, he’s as stubborn as a mule and he says he would be breaking his promise to our mother if he ever left me. But now I just want him to be happy and I want Annabelle to be happy too and I feel as if I’m standing between them. It’s all my fault that they can’t be together!’
    ‘Oh, you poor, poor thing!’ Miranda could hardly believe what she had just heard, and yet now she could vaguely remember reading about the case in the newspapers some years ago. ‘You must never blame yourself for what’s happened,’ she told the girl. ‘None of this situation was your fault. Your father abused you and your mother was a very brave woman who saved you from a possible death sentence. You, too, saved your brother’s life. But you have to put it all behind you now somehow and go on with your life.’
    ‘And how am I supposed to do that?’ Lucy cried bitterly. ‘I’m soiled goods; no man would ever want me now. And while I’m here, Joel won’t get on with his life either and all because of a promise he made to our mother.’
    Miranda hugged her again as she tried to think of a solution to this whole sorry mess, but for now, no ideas were forthcoming.
    Lucy stayed for another hour although Miranda tried to persuade her to sleep at Primrose Lodge. She didn’t like the thought of the girl being alone in the state of mind she was in, but Lucy argued that Mrs P would worry if she didn’t go home to collect Harry.
    And so Miranda found herself alone again and poured herself a large glass of scotch. She felt that she needed it after hearing Lucy’s story, even though she wasn’t much of a drinker. She lit a cigarette too and as she sat there in the darkness she thought how incredible it was that all three of the girls had such huge secrets in their past one way or another, and once they had been revealed, this had changed all their lives. Dotty’s for the better admittedly; at least she knew who her real parents were now. But it was a different story for Annabelle and Lucy. Lucy’s terrible secret had obviously been weighing heavily on her mind and she had seemed almost relieved to finally share it.
    As always, Miranda’s thoughts returned to her daughter and her husband Richard. The thought of him being at the mercy of the Germans filled her with dread. The newspapers were full of the atrocious way the prisoners were being treated and the horrendous conditions they were forced to live in, and she wondered if he would survive it. And if he did, and came home, would he be the same man who had left? She didn’t see how he could be. No one could witness and endure things like that without it affecting them permanently, but she loved him so much she just wanted him home, whatever state he might be in.
    And then finally there was Annabelle. Her heart ached as she thought of her. The girl had changed so much since the night she had learned of her adoption that sometimes Miranda barely recognised her now and she blamed herself. But Annabelle had been slightly more affectionate on her last visit, so perhaps she had turned a corner? If only she had told her daughter earlier that she was adopted this might have been avoided, but of course it was all too late for if onlys. She thought back to the time when Annabelle had started at Owen Owen and smiled wryly. The girl had been incensed at the thought of having to work for a living, yet after a time she had made a couple of friends and seemed to actually be enjoying it.
    Miranda could remember clearly how surprised she had felt, the first time Annabelle brought Lucy and Dotty home to meet