Killer Calories

couldn’t see or hear any life-forms other than the usual crickets and occasional coyote howl.
    She supposed her client was crouching behind a sage bush somewhere. But since she could see at least five hundred bushes from the spot where she stood, she decided not to waste too much time examining each one.
    “There we go,” she told Tammy. “ Sorta like leaving a letter for Santa. And like the old fellow with the white beard our person probably won’t show as long as we’re on the scene. So let’s boogie.”
    “Do you think they’re watching us right now?”
    “Yeah, most likely.”
    “ Oooo ... creepy.”
    They headed back through the gates and up the driveway, their sneakers crunching loudly on the gravel.
    “How do you learn all that stuff?” Tammy asked thought’
    fully .
    “What stuff?”
    “You know, what people are going to do and all that.” Savannah chuckled. “You get burned a lot. And if you’re smart, you learn from it. If you don’t, you spend a lot of time waiting for phones to ring, waiting for crooks to turn themselves in, waiting for lots of frogs to turn into princes. Eventually you learn. It’s a matter of self-preservation.”
    “Sounds like you learned the hard way.”
    “The hard way is the only way, kiddo. None of life’s greatest lessons are learned when we’re having a good time. Sadly, it just doesn’t work that way.”
    “I wonder why that is.”
    Tammy sighed, sounding battle-weary. Savannah suppressed a chuckle. She knew quite a bit about Tammy’s past life, and her sheltered existence hadn’t been all that challenging. As a cop, Savannah had seen truly traumatized lives. And most of the people she knew—herself included—were pretty spoiled to think their own lives difficult.
    “I guess life has to slap us upside the noggin to get our attention,” she said.
    “What’s a noggin?”
    “Your head.”
    “Oh.”
    “What’s the matter? Don’t you speak Georgian?”
    “I’m learning the language. But sometimes I still need a translation.”
    They arrived back at the spa’s gilded front doors and stepped into the lobby, which was nearly deserted at this relatively late hour. A toga-garbed Bernadette sat at the desk in the shadows of the giant plaster-cast Adam and Eve monstrosities. She gave them a nod and a curious look as they passed on their way to the rest room/public phone alcove in the rear.
    “Now what?” Tammy asked as they took their positions on each side of the black, wall-mounted phone.
    “We wait. It isn’t hard; we’re women. And if there’s anything we women are good at, it’s hanging out, waiting for the damned phone to ring.”

    “ Now what?” Tammy shifted from one foot to the other, staring at the silent telephone.
    Savannah gave her an “oh, please” look and a dismissive wave of her hand. “You need to get somebody to write you some new material; the old reruns are starting to bore me .“
    “But it’s been over fifteen minutes! When are they going to call?”
    “I already told you. There isn’t going to be any call. This is just a ruse to get us out away from the mailbox so that they can pick up my report.”
    “Shoot.” Tammy’s lower lip protruded a couple of notches. “I was really hoping they’d call just so that I could tell you ‘Nanny, nanny, boo, boo.’ ”
    “That’s so immature and childish of you.”
    “So, why are we waiting here?”
    “Just on the far-flung, outside chance that I might be wrong and you might be right. But, as we can see, you blew it... again.” She glanced at her watch. “Nine-twenty. That’s long enough.”
    She took a step out of the alcove and looked around the lobby. Bernadette and her toga were still sitting at the desk.She was hard at work, nose deep in some sort of romance novel. No one and nothing else stirred.
    Turning back to Tammy, Savannah said, “Keep an eye opened while I’m in the ladies’ room, and let me know if anybody’s coming.”
    “Sure!” Tammy looked excited, relieved to have the wait over. “What are you going to do? Make the phone call ?“
    “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” She lowered her voice and whispered, “If anybody comes this way, knock on the door... use the secret knock.”
    Tammy’s eyes widened. “But I don’t know the secret knock. What is it?”
    “Do you mean to tell me that you don’t know the secret detectives’ knock?”
    Tammy shook her head.
    “It’s three hard, two soft, three hard and a soft. Got