Lousiana Hotshot

Mistah Dangerous Foe
    Gettin’ old, but got his ducks pretty much in a row
    You a thug, you a gangsta, make you cry and make you whine
    But ain’t none of that stuff what makes the dude unique
—
    Got backpacks hangin’ down the front of his mug
    Now you could carry the mail in them pouches on his face,
    ’Cause the baldface truth is the man is a freak,
    He got sleepin’ bags for squirrels, they big enough to hug
    ‘Cause the baldface truth is the detective’s a case!
    When she was finished, and had received her share of foot-stompin’ appreciation, she bowed in her usual regal fashion: “The Baroness myself thanks you.”
    She was leaving the stage in triumph, when Tony, next on the program, took the mike and fed her the straight lines she’d requested: “Not so fast, Baroness. Come on back up here.”
    When she had obeyed, he said, “I don’t quite understand your logic here. I know you wanted to honor my father and all, but just how exactly is a rap ethnically appropriate to a man whose last name ends with a vowel?”
    “Baby, that wasn’t no rap.”
    “Come on, Baroness. If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…”
    “Well, then, it’s a wop poem.”
    “If that’s a wop poem, you and I were listening to some different quacking.”
    “No, we heard the same quacking. My interpretation threw you off a little, that’s all.”
    “What do you mean, your interpretation? I think I know a rap when I hear one.”
    “Well, Tony, honey, I just said your daddy a fourteen-line poem in iambic pentameter with one octet and one sestet, and a rhyme scheme of ABBA in the octet and CDE in the sestet.” She turned full face to the audience. “You know what you call that, Mr. Eddie Valentino?
That
is a very ethnically appropriate Petrarchan sonnet. Known familiarly as an
Italian
sonnet.” She bowed again, but before the expected applause could get started, Eddie slipped in and got the last word.
    “Ciao, grazie,” he said. And then, expansive as a talk show host: “Arrivederci, alligator.” Talba never was sure whether the resulting applause was for her or for him.
    THE END

Acknowledgments
    So much goes into a book and so many people contribute! Some are sources of information, some sources of inspiration, and some are sources for the sources. In the course of writing this one, Chris Wiltz, Betsy Petersen, Marigny Pecot, Prieur and Mathilde Leary, AJ. Valenti, Linda Buczek, Chuck Hustmyre, Andy J. Forest, Ken White, Sonya Hardy, Roger at Spytek 2000, and Pat Brady generously provided counsel and shared their expertise. I’m hugely grateful to them all, as well as to my agents, Charlotte Sheedy and Vicky Bijur; and to Win Blevins, the kind of editor they don’t make any more. Finally, my most special thanks of all go to Lee Pryor, untier of plot knots, tireless location-finder, and the kind of husband they don’t make anymore.

WE GUARANTEE OUR BOOKS…
AND WE LISTEN TO OUR READERS
    We’ll give you your money back if you find as many as five errors in this book. (That’s five
verified
errors—punctuation or spelling that leaves no room for judgment calls or alternatives.)
    If you find more than five, we’ll give you a dollar for every one you catch up to twenty.
    More than that and we reproof and remake the book. Email [email protected] and it shall be done!

The Talba Wallis Series
    LOUISIANA HOTSHOT
    LOUISIANA BIGSHOT
    LOUISIANA LAMENT
    P.I. ON A HOT TIN ROOF
    “Unusual subject matter, set off by an appealing but streetwise heroine makes this a strongly recommended choice for most mystery collections.”
    — The Library Journal
    “Julie Smith has created many wonderful characters, and private investigator Talba Wallis is the most complex and fascinating of them all. A lively supporting cast, a vibrant portrait of New Orleans, and a plot that’s sure to baffle make
Louisiana Bigshot
a standout. If you haven’t read Smith before, this is the time to start. If you’re a fan, you’re in for yet another treat.”
    — Marcia Muller, bestselling author of
Dead Midnight

Also by Julie Smith:
    The Skip Langdon Series
    NEW ORLEANS MOURNING
    THE AXEMAN’S JAZZ
    JAZZ FUNERAL
    DEATH BEFORE FACEBOOK
(formerly NEW ORLEANS BEAT)
    HOUSE OF BLUES
    THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
    CRESCENT CITY CONNECTION
(formerly CRESCENT CITY KILL)
    82 DESIRE
    MEAN WOMAN BLUES
    The Rebecca Schwartz Series
    DEATH TURNS A TRICK
    THE SOURDOUGH WARS
    TOURIST TRAP
    DEAD IN THE WATER
    OTHER PEOPLE’S