Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 7

Jaime, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. Oh jesus babe, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm sorry Jaime. Please, honey, don't cry. Please baby, talk to me. Please!"
    Shane heard Jaime draw a shuddering breath. "I'm okay. It's okay. I know. I'm sorry too. I know, I do, Shaney. I'm sorry, it's just that..."Jaime's voice trailed off, his voice faltering, emotion threatening to choke him. Shane closed his eyes against the tears that the familiar nickname evoked . How long had it been since Jaime had called him that? How long had it been since he had heard anything but sarcasm and disdain in his lover's voice . Carefully, afraid to break the fragile olive branch that Jaime was offering, Shane spoke:
    "Ah Babe, it's okay! We're okay! God, I just miss you so much, Jaime. I feel like we never see each other anymore. I really wish things could be different. I hate what this is doing to us. All we ever do is work."
    "Me, too, I hate it too. But I have to do my job Shaney. It's the only way I'm going to learn enough to run my own place one day. And I want that more than anything. It's always been my dream you know that."
    Shane felt as though he had been punched in the gut. Yes, he knew. He knew all about Jaime's dream to one day own his own restaurant. They had talked about it so many times. Just like they had talked about Shane's dream job. He looked around the plush office suite and realized for the hundredth time just how far away his dream had flown. He straightened up in his chair and drew in a deep breath, trying to get a grip on his emotions. This was not the time to be thinking about himself. He needed to be here for Jaime. He had to fix this.
    "Okay, so you have to work Danny's shift. Does that mean you're stuck there till closing?"
    "Yeah, but tonight is an early closing, cause it's Monday—so I should be done by nine.
    Shane could hear the relief in Jaime's voice and his heart warmed to the sound. If he was careful here, maybe, just maybe Jaime and he could still salvage the night and connect. It had been so long since they had taken the time to just be with each other without any drama, any angst. That's all there seemed to be these days, one fight after another. When had their relationship dissolved into an endless series of angry, painful sound bites? Jaime's voice pulled him back from his thoughts.
    "Uhm, I…I don't suppose you still want to come pick me up, do you?"
    Shane winced at the timid tone in his lover's voice. Had he put that there? Had something he'd done made Jaime doubt how much he loved him? Speaking quickly to reassure him, Shane blurted out, "Yes, absolutely yes. Nine pm right? I'll be there—and we'll go out, maybe dancing—would you like that baby, dancing? Shane's question was met with a deafening silence. "Shit, what am I thinking, you're probably going to be too tired to go out, ah hell, I'm sorry Jaime I…" He was babbling like a fool.
    "Shhh honey, it's okay. I would love to go dancing with you but you're right, tonight might not be the best night. After working a double shift I don't think I'd be a very good dance partner."
    Shane tried to hide his disappointment. "Right, right, I'm such an idiot—of course you're going to be exhausted. So, I'll just pick you up then and we can go home so you can crash in bed and get some sleep."
    "Yeah, that would be great. Bed sounds really good."
    "Okay Babe, bed it is. That sounds good to me too. I'll be there by nine."
    "Uhm, Shane maybe we could talk a bit…when we get home? I mean if you're not too tired?"
    Shane felt his pulse quicken. He and Jaime rarely talked anymore. He wanted to hope that this meant something good, something positive, but he couldn't help the feeling of dread that was creeping up his spine.
    "Yeah sure, Jaime, whatever you want."
    "Whatever I want? You mean that?"
    The dread blossomed into full-blown panic.
    "Absolutely. You know that right? That I'm here for you—for whatever you need?"
    "Does that mean if I need some time to just be with you…maybe just with you holding me? Would that be okay too?"
    Shane closed his eyes as the rush of sheer relief engulfed him. Jaime wasn't mad at him. It was going to be okay, maybe even better than okay. Maybe…maybe they could do more than just hold each other tonight. It had been so long since they had made love…so long. But he would take what he could get and right now his lover was waiting to be reassured that things were okay between them.
    "Yeah babe, that would be