Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 8

expression from the night before. No, he hadn't been merely disappointed. He'd been hurt and it had taken everything Devin had not to go to him the night before, to soothe his pain with the very thing Sam had been begging for, but he knew he was doing the right thing by staying away. If nothing else, he would've felt like he was taking advantage of Sam's feelings when he wasn't sure he could return them. It would be all right if Sam hated him for a little while for pushing him away, as long as Devin didn't end up hating himself for not having the strength to do it.
    Mike's eyebrows shot up. "You're kidding, right? Sam was practically molesting you at Churchill's last night and he made me promise to come home late so you'd have the house to yourselves. When I got here, he was in the bathroom crying."
    Devin frowned. "He didn't cry."
    "That's what it sounded like. He sure as hell wasn't snuggled up with you like he'd planned."
    Devin looked down at the paper in his hands. Mike wasn't supposed to give him that judgmental 'I'll hurt you if you hurt him' look. That was the look Mike reserved for people who hurt him . If Sam had misunderstood what he'd been trying to say... well, he hadn't misunderstood. He just hadn't been in the right frame of mind to hear it. They would talk later and then he would understand. Not that it would make him feel better, but at least— well, shit. Devin didn't know what he expected to come out of their talk, only that he knew he had to get Sam to understand why they both had to walk away.
    "The night didn't go the way I'd planned it either."
    "What did you want, exactly? Sam has it bad for you and I thought you weren't stupid enough to turn him away. I guess I was wrong."
    "Don't give me that," Devin said. "You can't just decide who you think I should be with and then snap your fingers to make it happen. I have to be the one to decide if there's something there."
    "And the way to do that is to push him away at every opportunity?"
    "No. I told him I want to talk to him, when he's sober, and he forced the issue."
    "Oh, you're right. It's such a hardship when someone you're attracted to is trying to get you into bed."
    "It's not that simple! Sam is my friend. I'm not just going to jump into bed with him because you think we'd make a good couple. I wanted to talk. That's all. He wanted to have sex and I didn't think it would be right if he wouldn't even remember it the next day."
    "At least one of us was being rational last night."
    Devin turned to see Sam standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob as he leaned on the frame. He was squinting, his face turned away from the bright sunlight streaming from outside. Devin imagined Sam had one hell of a headache given the way he'd been stumbling around the night before.
    "I'm going to leave you guys alone," Mike said.
    "No, finish your talk," Sam said. He walked further into the room and closed the back door. "My stomach feels like someone put it in a blender and my head isn't much better. I'm gonna try to see if I can sleep for another couple of hours and then we'll talk, okay?"
    Devin nodded. "I'll see you then."
    Sam had scarcely left the room when Mike said, "I'm sorry. I know this kind of stuff isn't easy for you and I shouldn't push."
    "No, you shouldn't," Devin said.
    "I just worry about you," Mike continued. "I think... I think he really cares about you, as much as I do. It's been a long time since you've let anyone new get close, and I worry that you'll never find someone. But it's none of my business if you don't want to date Sam. I won't bother you about it anymore. Even if I think the way you look at him sometimes is kind of sappy and cute."
    Devin's eyes narrowed as the last of Michael's statement registered. "I do not make eyes at him."
    "Liar. Too bad I didn't have my phone out a minute ago." Mike sat on the stool next to Devin, grabbing the newspaper from his hands. "Since we're not going to talk about you and Sam building a love nest, what's going on with the Broncos? I hear they're looking at quarterbacks for the draft."
    Clumsy tactic, but Devin let Michael change the subject. Somehow, he had to distract himself from what he had to do later.
    ****
    Several hours later, the house was quiet. Mike had gone to run some errands, which meant he was going to hang out at Jessica's until he thought Devin and Sam had exhausted themselves making up for lost time. Devin was sitting in the living room playing a game on his phone when