Moonglass

dropped it for me to find.
    Some walks, when we combed the beach for glass, I would get discouraged when I didn’t find anything at first. It always seemed that as soon as I would want to turn around and quit looking, a piece of glass would magically appear in front of me in the sand, giving me just enough reason to keep searching.
    I had heard her tell my dad as they lay next to each other on our beach blanket one afternoon, soaking up the sun, that she dropped them for me to find. A few feet away I carved a tunnel into my sand castle, and I decided to walk far away from her from then on, to see if I could find them all by myself. And so when I picked up the red piece that night, and looked up and down the beach, bursting to tell her, I believed I had found it all by myself.
    Because she’d been walking out into the water.

CHAPTER 24
    I squinted through the morning drizzle, watching the town car make its way down the hill. Ashley had arranged for me to be picked up and taken to the race so we could go to the spa afterward. Between the rain and a sleepless night, I’d gotten up ready to bail on both, but I didn’t want to have to tell Jillian that I wasn’t running, or Ashley that I was canceling, so I’d forced myself into my uniform and packed a bag for the spa.
    The car stopped directly in front of me, and the driver hopped out. He jogged around to open the door I was already reaching for.
    “Thank you. You didn’t have to get out in the rain, though.” I dropped my hand and took a step back, all owing him to open the door. As he did, Ashley leaned her head out.
    “Hiieee! Get in, get in!” She patted the seat and scooted over to make room. I sat down. “Are you ready for your race?
    And the spa? You are going to love this day.” The door closed, and she chattered on excitedly. “Sugar glow scrub, ocean algae body wrap …” I watched the turbulent gray water as we pulled away, still full of the empty melancholy I’d felt the night before, in my mother’s room.
    “Anna? You okay? … You listening?”
    “Yeah. Sorry. That all sounds great. I’m just a little nervous for this race,” I lied as we made our way down the highway toward the school.
    She bumped my shoulder. “Oh, don’t be nervous. You and Jillian are, like, the best runners we have. You’ll do fine! Is your dad coming? Or Tyler? We could make a little cheering section.”
    “No, Tyler has a water polo game, and my dad got called out early this morning for a missing boat or something. The waves are huge right now.”
    “Oh. well, don’t worry. I’ll cheer for ya.”
    I nodded and turned back to the window, watching the gray streak past me. “Thanks, Ash. I appreciate it.” When we pulled up to the course, I spotted Jillian right away. She wore a red plastic poncho over her uniform and stood stretching while Coach Martin went over something on his clipboard. I felt the slightest bit better, knowing we’d be running together and that I’d have to go all out. I needed to today.
    We stopped in front of them, and Ashley squeezed my leg. “Good luck! I have Gatorade and snacks for when you finish. I’m gonna wait in here until the race starts. tell them all I said good luck!”
    “All right.” I opened the door and stepped out into the cool, wet air.
    Coach looked over. “You got a chauffeur service now, Ryan?” He tossed a small plastic package to me. “Put this on. It’ll keep you warm before you get started.”
    I opened the snap and shook out the poncho, then slid it over me. “Thanks.”
    He turned and put his hands to his mouth. “Coast High! I need you guys over here.” Over his shoulder I saw red ponchos move through the crowd of runners and tents.
    Jillian walked over. “Hey. Hope you’re ready to kick some ass today, cuz we’ve got serious competition.” She motioned with her head to a blue team gathered beneath a pop-up tent. “Their number one has the record for this course.”
    “Great.” I tried to joke, but it was forced. “No pressure or anything.” I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to go to the spa, and I didn’t want to be at home, either. I wanted to go far away from everything, somewhere my mom had never been or left.
    The night before, I’d sat there on her bedroom floor for who knows how long, and something in me shifted. From the emptiness of the room and the sharp absence of her, anger rose in me. I’d never let myself be angry with her before, but now I couldn’t push