Mystic Mountains

thinking of you as a harlot. When I thought about it sensible and wasn't driven by jealousy I realized deep down you weren't the sort of woman who would go with men for money. And like it or not, you're tied to me in some way, same as I am to you."
    "That may be the case, but still I can't marry you. You'd soon get tired of me. I'm plain and ordinary. You need a woman who can excite you."
    "You excite me more than I can say, Bella." Taking the hand not holding the baby he twined his fingers through hers. "I don't think you have a notion of how you affect me, do you? For all you've been married and borne children you're still innocent of the ways and feelings of men. Do you know why Dougal was so ill-tempered and sour towards the end? He was burning up with his desire for you. It was killing him inside to be spurned by you, to see you cared nothing for him, yet he still worshipped you."
    Isabella shook her head, but he went on, "I 'm not about to say this again, but hear me, and understand this. I want you in the most basic way a man can want a woman, 'tis sure, but the feelings I have for you go much deeper. When I saw you on the dock all those years ago something inside me was drawn to you. You had a bruised and sallow face and were as scrawny as a starved kitten, yet I felt a tug in my gut I'd never felt before. Call it what you will, but 'tis there and will not go away. So, like it or not, you'll marry me as soon as the priest gets here."
    His words were said low, with a definite edge. Isabella 's heart beat so fast she thought it might bounce out of her chest. The baby brought up some wind and she patted her back, her eyes on Tiger as he got up and strode to the door.
    He turned and nodded, as if the matter was closed.
    "Don't you dictate to me, Tiger Carstairs," she cried as he went out.
    The baby whimpered, and Isabella crooned as she patted her daughter 's back. "I'll not wed the damned Englishman," she muttered, kissing their newborn's cheek. "How can I believe him?"

 
     
     
    Chapter Thirty Three
    September 1824
     
    "Tiger 'll be as mad as a pig with a bee on its nose, Bella."
    Isabella bit her lower lip. "Don 't I know it, Gillie. But I have to go. Tiger must learn that he doesn't own me anymore. I warned him I would be going as soon as I was well enough. He took it for granted I'd stay when he said a few sweet words. How can a few words make up for all the heartache he's brought me over the years?"
    Gillie sucked on his pipe, his eyes grave as he stared hard at her. "Oh girl, if only Thelma were here. She'd talk some sense into you. You can't go off into the wilderness alone. 'Tis foolish and you know it. Who will take care of you?"
    "Johnny' s decided to come along. And Agnes, Tim and I will sleep in tents until we get a shack built. I must go, 'tis time I stood on my own feet. I'm more than capable of looking after myself. Even if Tiger does think we all depend on him for our existence. I've found out we aren't as cut off out here as I first thought. Elizabeth Hawkins is near enough to visit. She said I can call on her any time I need help. When she visited with her mother and her four girls she said I only had to let her know and her eldest boy would come to help."
    "A boy in his 'teens? You're mad. How can you think of taking a two-month-old baby off like this? Away from help." Gillie swore softly beneath his breath, a rare occurrence for him.
    "What you mean, Gillie, is how can I think on taking Tim and the baby away from Tiger. Well, this is something I have to do. I need to set out on my own. Need to make a life for us on our own property."
    Gillie muttered a string of words she couldn't understand. "This is no place for a woman to be on her own. You need more protection than Johnny can give you. Blast it, if I could leave the sheep I would come along with you if you insist on going ahead with this foolishness."
    "Why is it that a man can go off on his own and he 's thought courageous, but a woman is considered stupid when she does the same thing, I'd like to know?"
    "The difference is, you' re thinking of going with a babe and a lad barely out of his toddling. Agnes is featherbrained and Johnny's not the brightest."
    "You don 't need brains to till the land and plant a few vegetables."
    "You 'd best take a decent cow if you're dead set on this, Bella. But let me tell you I think you're doing the most foolish thing you've ever done."
    "Aye, Gillie. And I've done some foolish things in my time.