Night Watch

ferocity of the glare.
    “All right, Sarge, she said she’d turn me over to the Day Watch if I didn’t,” Nobby confessed, “and you go straight to the Tanty if a nob lays a complaint against you.”
    That’s bloody true, thought Vimes. Private law again.
    “I don’t want to go to the Tanty, Sarge. Sconner’s in there.”
    And he used to break your arms, Vimes remembered.
    “So why’s a fine lady interested in me, Nobby?” he said aloud.
    “Didn’t ask. I told ’er about you an’ the hurry-up wagon and the Unmentionables and everything. She said you sounded fascinatin’. An’ Rosie Palm’s paying me a measly penny a day to keep an eye on you, too. Oh, an’ Corporal Snubbs at Cable Street, he’s payin’ me one half-penny to watch you, but what is a half-penny these days, say I, so I don’t watch you much on his account. Oh, and Lance Corporal Coates, I’m getting a penny from him, too.”
    “Why?”
    “Dunno. He asked me this morning, too. A penny job.” Nobby belched hugely. “Better out than in, eh? Who’d you want me to watch for you, Sarge?”
    “Me,” said Vimes. “If you can fit me into your busy schedule.”
    “ You want me to follow you?”
    “No, just tell me what people are saying about me. Keep an eye on who else is following me. Watch my back, sort of thing.”
    “Right!”
    “Good. Just one more thing, Nobby…”
    “Yes, Sarge?” said Nobby, still spooning.
    “Give me back my notebook, my handkerchief, and the four pennies you whizzed from my pockets, will you?”
    Nobby opened his mouth to protest, dribbling Slumgullet, but closed it when he saw the glint in Vimes’s eye. Silently, he produced the items from various horrible pockets.
    “Well done,” said Vimes, getting up. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what’ll happen to you if you try the old dippitydoodah on me again, do I, Nobby?”
    “No, Sarge,” said Nobby, looking down.
    “Want another bowl? Have fun. I’ve got to go to work.”
    “You can rely on me, Sarge!”
    Oddly enough, thought Vimes as he walked back to the Watch House, I probably can. Nobby would nick anything and dodge anything, but he wasn’t bad . You could trust him with your life, although you’d be daft to trust him with a dollar.
    He purchased a packet of Pantweed’s Slim Panatellas from another street trader. Carrying them around in their cardboard packet didn’t feel right at all.
    There was a buzz in the main office as he strolled in. Watchmen were standing around in little groups. Sergeant Knock spotted Vimes and trotted over.
    “Bit of a do, sir. Had a break-in last night,” he reported with just a hint of smirk.
    “Really?” said Vimes. “What did they steal?”
    “Did I say they stole anything, sir?” said the sergeant innocently.
    “Well, no, you didn’t,” said Vimes. “That was me jumping to what we call a conclusion. Did they steal anything, then, or did they break in to deliver a box of chocolates and a small complimentary basket of fruit?”
    “They stole the captain’s silver inkstand,” said Knock, impervious to sarcasm. “And it was an inside job, if you want my opinion. The door upstairs was forced but the main doors weren’t. Must’ve been a copper what done it!”
    Vimes was amazed at the forensic expertise shown here.
    “My word, a copper stealing ?” said Vimes.
    “Yes, a terrible thing,” said Knock earnestly. “Especially since you showed us the way yesterday, about being honest and everything.” He glanced past Vimes and shouted, “Attention! Officer present!”
    Tilden was coming down the stairs. The room fell silent, except for his hesitant steps.
    “No luck, Sergeant?” he said.
    “Not so far, sir,” said Knock. “I was just telling Sergeant Keel here what a terrible thing has happened.”
    “It was engraved, you know,” said Tilden mournfully. “Everyone in the regiment chipped in what they could afford. This really is very…upsetting.”
    “A man’d have to be a right bastard to steal something like that, eh, Sergeant?” said Knock.
    “Absolutely,” said Vimes. “I see you’re pretty well organized on this one, Sergeant. Have you looked everywhere?”
    “Everywhere except the lockers,” said Knock. “That’s not something we’d do lightly, rummaging through a man’s locker. But we’re all here now, and Captain Tilden’s here to see fair play, so, although it’s very distasteful, I’ll ask you, Captain, for permission to rummage.”
    “Yes,