Nightside 05 - Paths Not Taken
he retreated swiftly back into the ranks. Tavius opened the scroll and studied it carefully.
"So, are you gods, walking in disguise?"
"Definitely not," I said. "And don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise. They're just guessing."
Tavius considered that for a moment, and then moved on to the next question on his checklist. "Are you a Power, a Force, or a Being?"
"Not as such," I said.
"Are you a magician, sorcerer, raiser of spirits, or soothsayer?"
"There's a lot of debate about that," I said, "but I prefer not to comment. However, it would be fair to say that this lady and I are dangerous in a whole bunch of unnatural and unpleasant ways."
"I can set light to my farts," Suzie volunteered.
"Don't go there," I said quickly to Tavius.
He blinked a few times, then looked back at his checklist. "We've already established you're not Citizens, so ... which gods protect you?"
"Absolutely none, as far as I can tell," said Suzie.
"And I think we can safely assume I'm not going to find your barbarian names on the approved list," said Tavius, rolling up his scroll with a certain satisfaction. "Which means you're fair game. All right, boys, arrest them. We'll sort out some charges later."
"They said they were dangerous. Powerful and dangerous."
"Gods, you're a wimp, Marcus. How you ever got into the Legion is a mystery to me."
"They're tall enough to be dangerous."
"Look, if they had any magic worth the mentioning, they would have used it by now, wouldn't they? Now arrest them, or there'll be no honey with your dinner tonight."
"What the hell," I said. "I've been having a really rotten time, and I could use someone to take out my feelings on."
And I punched Tavius right between his beady little eyes. His head snapped back, and he staggered backwards two or three paces, but he didn't go down. Either they built them really tough in the Legion, or I was losing my touch. Tavius raised his short-sword and started towards me. I caught his gaze with mine, and he stopped short as though he'd run into a brick wall. I kept the stare going, and his face went blank, the short-sword slipping from his hand as the fingers slowly opened. I hit him again, and this time he went down and stayed down. Which was just as well. It felt like I'd broken every bone in my hand.
The rest of the Legionnaires were already advancing on us, hoping to overwhelm us with numbers. Suzie shot four of them in swift succession, working the pump on her shotgun with practised speed. The loud noise, the flying blood, and the terrible wounds scattered the Legionnaires like startled birds, and I thought they might run, but their training quickly reasserted itself. You don't choose the faint-hearted to act as the Watch in the Nightside. They spread out to make harder targets, then advanced on Suzie and me, sandalled feet stamping in perfect unison. I fell back on my standard response, which was to use the taking-bullets-out-of-guns trick. I wasn't actually sure what effect it would have, and so was pleasantly surprised when all the Legionnaires' weapons, armour, and clothing disappeared, leaving them utterly unarmed, and stark bollock naked. They looked down at themselves, then at us, and they turned as one and ran. There were limits to what even trained soldiers were prepared to face. Suzie started to raise her shotgun, but I shook my head, and she lowered it again. She looked at the departing bare arses and shook her head.
"Getting mean, Taylor."
"Everything I know, I learned from you," I said generously.
She considered me thoughtfully for a moment. "I'm never sure what you can or can't do."
I grinned. "That's the point."
We watched the departing Legionnaires leave the square at speed, probably on the way to tell on us to their superiors. Some of the people had wandered back into the square. They looked at Suzie, then at me, very disapprovingly. I glared right back at them, and they all remembered they had urgent appointments somewhere else.
"Feeling better?" said Suzie.
"You have no idea," I said.
I took a good look at our surroundings. The stone buildings were basic and blocky, prettied up with columns, porticoes, and bas-reliefs. Most of the latter featured gods, monsters, and people doing naughty things with each other. The centre of the square was taken up with a whole bunch of oversized statues, featuring either the local gods and goddesses or idealised men and women, most of them naked, all of them very brightly painted. I expressed
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