Paint Me Beautiful

terrible as that sounds. Which means you don't have time for Emmett. Text him back and tell him.
    “ We were thinking of going shopping and then maybe to a movie?” Leanne asks this like it's a question. I adjust my portfolio to my other arm and take a swig of my water. “Then maybe to lunch?” she looks to Jennifer when she asks this. Jenn nods.
    “ If you have time?” she asks, trailing off as she tilts her head to the side and examines me like she's never seen me before. Something flashes in her eyes, and I think maybe that it's jealousy, but I just feel so full of myself for having that thought that I brush it away. Fat girls hate skinny girls, Claire, my mind whispers meanly.
    “ Um, sure,” I say, hoping that maybe I can at least find these girls some clothes that fit, that enhance the bodies they have. Not everyone has the will to be perfect. It's a hard journey. “I have to meet my mom later, so I probably don't have time for lunch, but I can definitely hit the shops with you.”
    “ Thank God,” Leanne breathes as she rolls her eyes over to Jenn. “We have someone fashionable on our side.” Jennifer smiles, but she doesn't seem as happy to see me now that she knows my dress size. How fair is that?
    “ Do you have a game plan?” I ask, switching into shopping mode. I've gotten really good at it lately. I've done my research. After all, I can't walk into an agency with jeans from Ross. They have to have a name, something that shows my knowledge of the industry without seeming too pompous. And I need to know who works for who, make sure I've got at least one of their pieces on. It's a complicated dance, one that's all for naught if I don't get my fucking body under control. I look at Jenn and Leanne, and I see in my mind exactly how I want things to progress. Every time I see them, I want them to have those looks of surprise and awe, that grudging respect that says they know how much weight I've lost, that they understand the struggle I'm going through and that they respect me for it.
    I had planned on eating when I got home, had, in fact, mapped out a two hundred calorie meal that consisted of some apple slices and a few pieces of turkey. I change my mind right then and there. I'm going to fast. My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my pocket to see the words Big Bob flashing across the screen. He's going to be on my ass now, just like I thought. My ideas about maximizing my time were right on, and a fast is just the way to go. I mentally calculate days in my head and realize that we have a family reunion in ten days. There is no way in hell that I'm going to escape eating there, not with six aunts, two grandmas, and an uncle who's a professional chef. That'll be my binge day. Until then, I drink only water or plain tea.
    I smile with my new goal in mind and my friends smile back, unaware of what's going on inside my head.
    “ Wherever you think we should go, we'll go,” Jenn says, stepping back as if she's acknowledging my internal struggle, the fight that consists of me against myself. Or maybe she's just ogling the person behind me.
    “ Whoa,” a familiar voice laughs, and I spin around to find Emmett Sinclair standing in the middle of the sidewalk with a long sleeved, gray shirt that clings to his muscles and shows me every detail limned in cotton. Wow. “Talk about fate,” he says and his eyes sparkle.
    “ Coincidence,” I say. I don't believe in fate yet, but I will, eventually. “I had a casting across the street.” Emmett points up at the building that looms over us, a steel giant with concrete bones and glass teeth, whose eyes are antennae that kiss the gray sky.
    “ I was actually applying for a job upstairs. It's not ideal, but it's a good place to start.” I wrinkle my brow.
    “ At Marcy, Marcy and Peters?” I ask, referencing the firm where my sister works. It's on the top floor of this very building. “You're a law student?” Emmett shakes his head.
    “ They're looking for an Environmental Spokesperson,” he says. “To explain the reasons behind their lawsuits, someone who speaks plain English they said.” Sounds like Marlena. I find it incredibly odd that my date is now suddenly applying for the very same internship that my sister offered me last night. Fate or meddling? That's the question. I think about my phone and where it was while I was sleeping last night. I left it on the nightstand, right in plain view, right where Marlena could see it if she were so