Sea Haven 02 - Spirit Bound

soaking up the atmosphere of France. She’d loved the entire experience and Jean-Claude had been such a part of that.
    He was good-looking, built, so French with his compliments and accent and elegant manners. Who could possibly believe he was a criminal? He knew policemen, politicians, movie stars. Life at his side was glamorous. She had never met anyone in her life like Jean-Claude and she had looked at him with stars in her eyes. He was part of her experience in France, a courtly man with impeccable manners who handed her into cars, bowed low over her hand and took her to places she’d never dreamt of going. He made her feel like a princess.
    Could he have faked those looks he gave her, long intense looks, straight into her eyes, as he proclaimed his love. He bought her an amazing ring when they’d known one another only a couple of weeks. She’d refused him, crying in her room at night, but something had told her to be just a little more cautious.
    It hadn’t mattered at all that she’d turned down his proposal of marriage and that made her feel all the more special—that he would give her time when he could have any woman he wanted. Had it all been real on his part? Was it even possible for a man capable of the horrific things he did to actually feel love for someone?
    A thought hit her hard. She looked at Blythe with stricken eyes. “Could I have given him the ability to actually feel real love just by my presence? By the way I loved France? Loved who I believed he was?”
    Lissa leaned forward, taking Judith’s hands in hers. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Judith. What’s wrong with falling in love? If Jean-Claude had been the man he pretended to be, your life would have been so different—and quite amazing. He was the one who was deceptive by pretending to be something he wasn’t. Loving someone is never wrong.”
    “I must have been projecting and he thought it was real on his part.”
    Lissa shook her head. “You’re so mixed up, babe. Look at Rikki with Levi. When they’re together all of us can feel how much they love each other. They radiate love, even when they’re in one of their ridiculous arguments. When I love, I intend to love completely. There shouldn’t be any other way. You don’t know if what he felt for you was real or not. Maybe he was lucky enough that for the first time in his life he connected with someone good and it moved him. You can’t be responsible for what he did or didn’t feel.”
    Airiana nodded in agreement. “We can only control ourselves, not others, remember? We all vowed we’d live that way. We’re responsible for our own happiness and we make our own choices. You can’t allow Jean-Claude to control you or how you choose to live your life, nor are you responsible for whether he’s capable of loving or not.”
    “You always do this, Judith. You’re afraid of your talent,” Blythe pointed out. “You find ways to blame yourself and because of that, you spend half the time refusing to acknowledge that everyone needs to be whole. No one is all good. No one is all bad. You have to allow yourself to be you.”
    Judith knew they were all making sense but . . . She swept her hand through her hair. “I feel whole when I’m with Thomas. Not because I need a man to see myself, it isn’t that. It’s because somehow he can handle intense emotion, good or bad, and the intensity doesn’t seem to affect him, at least not adversely. I’m unafraid when I’m with him. Of myself. Of my power.”
    She pressed her thumb deep into the center of her left palm. “He makes me laugh. And I feel beautiful when I’m with him, even with no makeup and in my jeans and T-shirt. I can’t say he’s exactly handsome, but he’s all man and very compelling. I think he’s the hottest man I’ve ever met.”
    She made the confession fast, the words tumbling over one another. She hadn’t said soul mate but she felt that way. She didn’t know if she’d ever talk to him again, didn’t know how to feel about what had transpired between him and Levi. But that didn’t negate the truth of her words.
    “Wow.” Airiana said it for all of them, a little stunned.
    Judith nodded. “ Exactly. The first time I laid eyes on him, he took my breath away. He was standing in the shadows and I swear the earth moved when our eyes met. I knew. Right then I knew it was him and it was always supposed to be him.”
    She rubbed her hands together and pushed her thumb harder into her