Ship of Souls

air. This time we rush toward the sound instead of falling back.
    Have you ever seen a living hymn—music so vibrant that it shapes the air? Praise songs light the gloom, turning the void into a moonlit beach. Voices swirl around us like stars, and words of rapture dance about our heads like beautiful moths drawn to Nuru’s unfailing light. We hear bells, sighs, cries of hallelujah! There are songs of joy sung in a hundred different languages, yet somehow we understand everything.
    And then we see them—the dead! They stand in rows, heads bowed, arms folded across their chests like mummies from ancient Egypt. They are skeletons—bleached bones glow like polished ivory in the dark—but they sway with the grace of fifteen thousand dancers. As we draw closer, we see among their bones strands of blue beads, gold buttons, cowrie shells, and coins—all the reminders of home that have endured over the centuries.
    I look down upon the dead and feel myself thinning, expanding, blossoming like a flower. I see Nuru’s light pouring down from my raised hand, and then I blink and no longer sense my hand, my arm, or my body—I am filled with light. I am the light.
    Somewhere below and behind me I can hear Nyla’s faint voice calling my name, but I feel no urge to respond or turn back. Billy stands with the dead, tears streaming down his face. And then Nuru speaks through me in a voice that rings like a gong: Awake, my beloved! It is time.
    And with that, the light that I am shoots up into the air and explodes in brilliant sparks like the final firecracker on the Fourth of July. I feel the fluttering of wings as parts of me drift down upon the dead, settling upon the stark white bones as flesh . I am a magnificent star shining overhead, and below me are the dead awakened, hands clasped, arms raised in victory.
    Then the ship arrives on serene black waves. The dead stop rejoicing and stand in silent awe as the vessel drifts in from afar. I smell salt in the dark air. The dead say a prayer of thanks and then form a solemn procession heading toward the ship’s gangplank. I watch the newly embodied souls helping one another, shepherding children on board. Very few among the dead are aged. Most died too soon, their lives cut short by the hardships of slavery. Billy moves among them, lifting infants up so they can be folded into the waiting arms of those already on deck. He beams with purpose and moves with the certainty of one who has found his place. He is white, yet he belongs. This journey will not be like the hellish crossing of those souls stolen from Africa so long ago.
    A gust of sea wind fills the sails, and the wooden beams creak as the loaded ship rises on swelling waves. From above I see myself standing beside Billy on the deck. From below I see myself as a shining star high in the night sky. Then, as the ship pulls away from the shore, the sky turns pink and peach as the star becomes the sun. The dawn fills me with warmth and radiant light. I float in a cloudless blue sky as squawking gulls accompany us out to sea.
    I see myself standing upon the deck, basking in the sun. I see the sun shining above me. I am both. I am complete. I am content.
    Then I hear Nuru’s voice.
    Look into your heart, D, and tell me what you see.
    “Light!” I exclaim ecstatically. “Everywhere there is light.”
    Look again, my child. Do you really wish to leave this world behind?
    “Yes!” I cry without hesitation. “You said it yourself, I have nothing to lose. I want to see your realm.”
    Won’t you miss your friends?
    Suddenly I hear Nyla weeping softly. I don’t need to turn around to know that she is standing on the shore, wrapped tightly in Keem’s strong arms. Though he makes no sound, I can see the tears shining on Keem’s cheeks as well. “They have each other,” I say without a trace of envy or regret. “They don’t need me. You told me once that everyone belonged somewhere. I belong with you. Right?”
    You have been an excellent host, D. But—
    “But what?” I see a cloud manifest in the azure sky. It threatens to pass before the sun. “You said we had to stay together from now on. You said you’d never let go!”
    Even if I release you from service, I will always be with you, D.
    “‘Release me?’ You can’t—you can’t do that!” My voice gets louder as the ominous cloud creeps across the sun, dimming its glorious light. I can feel a storm of hysteria swirling within me. “I thought you were