Somebody's Lover: The Jackson Brothers, Book 1

if it wasn’t with him, Taylor had a right to love again.
    “Yeah, he’s dead. And why, Jace? Because you couldn’t get your sorry ass out of bed. Because you were drunk, like usual. Because he couldn’t count on you.”
    “Stop it, stop it.” Mom was crying, but Jace couldn’t stop David, not even for his mother.
    It was the truth. They’d all been dancing around it for three years. It was time somebody said it, long past time he heard what they all thought. What he knew.
    “Yeah, he’s dead because I messed up. I wasn’t there. I let him die. I know that. I live with it every night and every day.” The blood, sometimes he still smelled it. “But that has nothing to do with Taylor. Don’t use the word fuck about her.”
    “Why? Because she’s your fucking whore?”
    “Don’t you ever say that about her.” His arm back, poised to punch his brother’s nose through his face, David’s fists came up. White hot fury stabbed behind Jace’s eyelids.
    Then someone grabbed his arm. Held him back while his mother cried. It was the saddest damn sound he’d ever heard. Worse even than the day they’d gone to tell Taylor Lou was dead.
    “Back off, David.” His dad’s voice, his dad’s hand on his arm.
    The eyes, it was all in his brother’s eyes. Hatred. Far more than anger. Pure hate. But David stood down when his father told him to.
    “Arthur. Let’s go,” Mom begged. “Please let’s just go.”
    “No, Evelyn. We have to talk about Lou. And Jace.”
    He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t face it. He’d always known he couldn’t face his father, but he turned to him anyway.
    Tears glimmered. One slipped from his father’s eye, caught on a lash, then slid down his cheek. Jace had never seen him cry. Not that day, not when they buried Lou. Never.
    “I’m sorry, Dad. But I know it won’t ever bring Lou back.”
    “What’s our rule?”
    Mom opened her mouth, but his father held her off with his hand. “What’s the rule, Jace?” he repeated.
    “You don’t let your brother work alone.”
    “No. That’s not the rule. It never was. The rule is you don’t work alone.”
    “He didn’t have a choice because I didn’t show.”
    “He had a choice. He made the wrong one.”
    “But—”
    “Lou made the wrong choice.”
    He stared at his father. “It wasn’t his fault.”
    “I loved your brother. When he came along, before the rest of you, I used to gaze at him and wonder how I could possibly have made him. I died when he died.” Another tear joined the others. A river down his father’s face.
    Mom gripped his arm.
    His dad didn’t take her comfort.
    “I loved him with everything I had, but your brother was a lot like me, and he could be an arrogant SOB when he chose to be.”
    Jace shoved both hands through his hair and squeezed the back of his head.
    “He made the wrong choice. It was his mistake. I never wanted to say that. I even tried not to think it. It was somehow...sacrilege. But it’s true. And sometimes when I’m alone, I hate him for that.”
    “Jesus, Dad.” David took a step toward him.
    “He made a stupid move. He broke the rule. Jace didn’t make him do that. And you know that, David. None of us wants to say it was Lou’s fault. But you can’t go on blaming Jace because you don’t want to admit the truth.”
    “I didn’t blame Jace.”
    “You did. Like I did. Because he was alive and it was easier to blame him with Lou in the ground.”
    David hung his head, and Dad turned to Jace. “I’m sorry. I should have said that a long time ago. I don’t even have the excuse that I didn’t know you blamed yourself. I did know. I just didn’t know what to do about it. I love you, Jace. I’m sorry I let you down.”
    “Christ, Dad. You didn’t let anyone down. I’ve always known what I did.”
    “I don’t blame you for oversleeping. We’ve all tied one on. That never meant you had a hand in your brother’s death.”
    Something lifted off him, a mantle, chains. He would always regret that he hadn’t been there, but his father had given him a precious gift. Forgiveness. And the ability to forgive himself.
    “You’ve changed since it happened, son. I can count on you. Taylor can count on you, too.” He wrapped his palm along the side of Jace’s neck and held him. “Lou’s dead, Jace. He isn’t coming back, and Taylor doesn’t deserve to live with our ghosts. Are you in love with her?”
    “Yes.”
    “Then I guess you better make sure she knows