Sweet Starfire

You’ve only been away from Clementia for about three weeks. So much has happened to you in that time that you can’t possibly be thinking clearly.”
    “I was trained to think clearly under all circumstances!” He eyed her.
    “You’re starting to lose your temper.”
    “Astute observation. I’m getting very angry, Severance.”
    “Cidra, all I’m asking is that you consider this in a calm, rational manner. You’ve been under a great deal of strain lately.”
    “Strain? I’ve been seduced, assaulted by wild beasts, attacked by alien illusions, obliged to eat meat, and taught to gamble. Yes, I’ve been under a strain. But that doesn’t mean I can’t think straight. It’s Wolves such as you who get muddle-headed in emotional circumstances. And the fact that you are presently in just such a circumstance is the only reason I’m making allowances for your behavior at the moment. I’m the best crew mate you ever had, Teague Severance. I’m loyal, trustworthy, and intelligent. If you had any sense, you’d realize just how lucky you are and get down on your knees in gratitude!”
    He stared at her as she sat up in the sleeper, her long hair spilling around her shoulders and dancing across the tips of her breasts. Her eyes were full of fire and daunting determination. He felt himself wavering in the face of it. Summoning all his fortitude, he stood firm. “Cidra, I know you think you mean what you say.”
    “I do mean what I say!”
    “But this decision is too important.”
    “To whom?”
    “To me, you little idiot. Will you listen to me? I’m trying to do what’s best for both of us.”
    “You’re just trying to protect yourself,” she retorted. He started to argue and then halted abruptly. “Maybe I am.” He looked away from her. “I couldn’t bear it if I took you with me and you changed your mind a season or two from now. I couldn’t bear to watch you pining for the gardens of Clementia and the love of a man who will never want to make love to you. It would destroy me, Cidra.”
    She heard the gritty truth in his words and knew her first sense of genuine uncertainty. She didn’t doubt her own feelings for a moment, but she had to acknowledge that Severance had a right to be unsure of her. From the moment he had met her she had talked mainly of finding a way to go back to Clementia. She couldn’t blame him for doubting her change of heart and mind.
    “What about a compromise?” she asked softly.
    He swung around to face her. “What kind of compromise? I’m not going to be a visiting lover for you. I won’t agree to just drop in and sleep with you occasionally when I happen to be near Clementia.”
    Her head came up proudly. “I’m not interested in such a … a thin relationship, either. For the record I won’t be a convenient resource for a little special handling when you’re between mail runs.”
    “I know mat.”
    “Very well, then, why don’t we try a more or less platonic association for a while.”
    “The way we did for two weeks on the hop from Lovelady to Renaissance? You’re out of your tuned mind. I’d never survive. Talk about strain!”
    “Then you suggest something,” she shot back.
    His face hardened. “All right, I will. Go back to Clementia. ...”
    “But, Severance…”
    “Go back to Clementia while I finish the run to QED . When I get back, I’ll come to Clementia. If you’re still sure you want to come away with me, I’ll take you.”
    She drew a breath. “It’s six weeks from here to QED and then eight more to get back to Lovelady. That’s a long time, Severance.”
    “Long enough for you to be sure of what you’re doing.”
    Cidra felt her stomach tighten as she saw the determination in him. “You really don’t trust me to know what I’m doing, do you?”
    “I think you need time.”
    “What if you don’t come back for me, Severance?” she asked softly.
    “You’ll have to trust me to come back, just as I’ll have to trust you to be waiting.
    “Wolves have a very hard time with trust, don’t they?” she whispered.
    “Yes.”

Chapter Eighteen

    “It’s amazing how sophisticated and cosmopolitan Port Try Again looks after a few days in the jungle.” Cidra grinned across the table at Desma Kady, who was halfway through a meat stew. “Renaissance has a way of giving one a new perspective on things.”
    Desma chuckled. “I know what you mean. But cosmopolitan as we may be, you’re still drawing a few stares. Most of