The Adventure at Baskerville Hall & Other Cases

the man I thought I knew.
    However, I could not afford to waste time in reflection. Once Jonathon had safely disappeared, I slipped after Holmes like a shadow and caught him up outside the doors of the conservatory as he was retrieving his tools from his pocket. When I touched his arm, he spun around and I believe that a man with lesser self-control would have cried out, so surprised was he.
    "It is me," I murmured.
    "I can see that! My question is what the devil you are doing here!" he hissed at me.
    "I am here to assist, as I gave you my word I would be. I have only just arrived," I added awkwardly, "and saw your silhouette by the greenhouse. You would do well to wear a mask, your features are rather distinctive."
    Had the moment not been so fraught with danger, I am sure he would have stopped to argue. However, as it was he merely took the mask I offered to him, donned it with an angry haste, and soon we were standing in Milverton's conservatory, the delightful warmth and fragrance of the tropical flowers an odd counterpoint to our dark mission.
    I have already given the public an account of our activities that night, and to repeat them would serve no purpose. The safe, the unexpected visitor, the murder and the destruction of papers. As we carried piles of letters and notes from the safe to the fireplace, I did not see my letter among them. I dared not search through the mounds of paper, lest Holmes mistake my search for mere vulgar curiosity about the private affairs of others, but I prayed that it was among the armfuls we blindly scooped up. When everything was blazing in the hearth, I heaved an inward sigh of relief and followed Holmes as he seized my wrist and dragged me through the outer doors and onto the veranda.
    Let it not be supposed that the unexpected adventure of the evening had served to drive the earlier events from my mind. I had never been indifferent to the casual touches Holmes bestowed upon me – his arm linked through mine, or a long-fingered hand on my shoulder or forearm to attract my attention – and what I had seen that evening only served to heighten my awareness of him. The strong grip of his hand to guide me silently through the conservatory where I would have stumbled in the dark, his mouth against my ear in Milverton's study, and the warm, intimate pressure of his body against my side as we concealed ourselves behind the curtains had all seemed to burn me. However, I forced myself not to flinch away from them – to do so would alert him that something had changed about my perception of him and it would be no great leap for him to deduce that I had arrived earlier then I had claimed, and what I had witnessed.
    Once our mad flight was over and we found ourselves alone on the heath with no sounds of pursuit, Holmes regarded me for a long, silent moment. The snow was falling steadily, chilling us to the bone, and I feared that Holmes was going to demand an explanation there and then of why I had followed him. Instead, he simply removed his mask, dashed his wet hair back from his face, and set off in the direction of the main road where we would be able to hail a cab. Our journey home was uneventful, I am happy to say, and upon returning to Baker Street each of us sought his own room with only the most cursory of goodnights.
    * * * *
    At some point during the night, the storm blew itself out and gave way to a watery winter sunrise that seemed all the more brilliant for being reflected off the thick blanket of white that lay over the city. Almost as soon as it began to lighten the walls of my room I rose from my bed, feeling more in need of repose than when I had sought it several hours ago. I had not slept well, each of my chaotic thoughts clamouring to be uppermost in my mind.
    Finding Mrs. Hudson, an habitual early riser, to be also up and about, I humbly begged some tea and toast from her and retired to the sitting-room to pick at a piece of toast and let my tea grow cold on the side table. What I was to say to Holmes when I saw him, I had no idea. He would surely be expecting an explanation as to why I had so determinedly ignored his request to remain in Baker Street, and I was still undecided as to whether I should reveal the fact that I had been made privy to the intimate details of his assignation. I did not relish the thought of his reaction when he learned that his privacy had been thus invaded, but I was not confident of my ability to continue with our life together