The Crippled God

sergeants are the thickest of the lot. Which is what I’m starting to think, anyway.’
    She’d never got close to completing the thousand push-ups. Arsehole. Men who smile like that need a sense of humour, but I’m not one to believe in miracles .
    She scratched some more with her stick. Should’ve broken him, right here between my legs. Aye, save the last laugh for Kisswhere. She wins every game . ‘Every one of them, aye, isn’t it obvious?’
    Spax made a point of keeping his shell-armour loose, the plates clacking freely, and with all the fetishes tied everywhere he was well pleased with the concatenation of sounds when he walked. Had he been athin runt, the effect would not have worked, but he was big enough and loud enough to be his own squad, a martial apparition that could not help but make a dramatic entrance no matter how sumptuous the destination.
    In this case, the queen’s command tent was as close to a palace as he was likely to find in these Wastelands, and shouldering in between the curtains of silk and the slap of his heavy gauntlets on the map table gave him no small amount of satisfaction. ‘Highness, I am here.’
    Queen Abrastal lounged in her ornate chair, legs stretched out, watching him from under lowered lids. Her red hair was unbound and hanging loose, freshly washed and combed out, and the Barghast’s loins stirred as he observed her in turn.
    ‘Wipe off that damned grin,’ Abrastal said in a growl.
    His brows lifted. ‘Something wrong, Firehair?’
    ‘Only everything I know you’re thinking right now, Spax.’
    ‘Highness, if you’d been born in an alley behind a bar, you’d still be a queen in my eyes. Deride me for my admiration all you like, it changes nothing in my heart.’
    She snorted. ‘You stink of rum.’
    ‘I was pursuing a mystery, Highness.’
    ‘Oh?’
    ‘The onyx-skinned woman. The Malazan.’
    She rolled her eyes. ‘Gods below, you’re worse than a crocodile in the mating season.’
    ‘Not that mystery, Firehair, though I’ll chase that one down given the chance. No, what makes me curious is her, well, her lack of zeal. This is not the soldier I would have expected.’
    Abrastal waved one hand. ‘There is no mystery there, Spax. The woman’s a coward. Every army has them, why should the Malazan one be any different?’
    ‘Because she’s a marine,’ he replied.
    ‘So?’
    ‘The marines damn near singlehandedly conquered Lether, Highness, and she was one of them. On Genabackis whole armies would desert if they heard they’d be facing an assault by Malazan marines. They stank with magic and Moranth munitions, and they never broke – you needed to cut them down to the last man and woman.’
    ‘Even the hardest soldier reaches an end to their endurance, Spax.’
    ‘Well, she’s been a prisoner to the Letherii, so perhaps you are right. Now then, Highness, what did you wish of your loyal warchief?’
    ‘I want you with me at the parley.’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Sober.’
    ‘If you insist, but I warn you, what plagues me also plagues mywarriors. We yearn for a fight – we only hired on with you Bolkando because we expected an invasion or two. Instead, we’re marching like damned soldiers. Could we have reached the Bonehunters in time—’
    ‘You’d likely be regretting it,’ Abrastal said, her expression darkening.
    Spax tried on a scowl. ‘You believe those Khundryl?’
    ‘I do. Especially after Felash’s warning – though I am coming to suspect that my Fourteenth Daughter’s foresight was focused on something still awaiting us.’
    ‘More of these two-legged giant lizards?’
    She shrugged, and then shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think so, but unfortunately it’s only a gut feeling. We’ll see what we see at the parley.’
    ‘The Malazans never conquered the Gilk Barghast,’ Spax said.
    ‘Gods below, if you show up with your hackles raised—’
    ‘Spirits forbid the thought, Highness. Facing them, I will be like the one hare the eagle missed. I’m as likely to freeze as fill my breeches.’
    Slowly, Abrastal’s eyes widened. ‘Warchief,’ she said in wonder, ‘you are frightened of them.’
    He grimaced, and then nodded.
    The queen of the Bolkando abruptly rose, taking a deep breath, and Spax’s eyes could not help but fall to her swelling chest. ‘I will meet this Adjunct,’ Abrastal said with sudden vigour. Her eyes found the Barghast and pinned him in place. ‘If indeed we are to face more of the giant