The Key to Midnight

Mariko's voice faltered. 'She said, "Mariko-san, I'm afraid I'm making a goddamned silly fool of myself, as usual." '
        'Dear God.'
        'There were twenty pills in the bottle. She'd taken eighteen before she'd realized that suicide wasn't the answer. I called an ambulance.'
        'Why isn't she in a hospital?'
        'The paramedics came, made her swallow a tube… pumped out her stomach right here.' She closed her eyes and grimaced at the memory.
        'I've seen it done,' Alex said. 'It isn't pleasant.'
        'I held her hand. By the time they were finished, Dr. Mifuni arrived. He didn't think a hospital was necessary.'
        Alex glanced at the bedroom door. The silence behind it seemed ominous, and he had to resist an impulse to cross the living room and yank the door open to see if Joanna was all right.
        Looking at Mariko again, he said, 'Is this the first time she tried to kill herself?'
        'Of course!'
        'Do you think she actually intended to go through with it?'
        'Yes, at first.'
        'What changed her mind?'
        'She realized it was wrong.'
        'Some people only pretend suicide. They're looking for sympathy, or maybe for-'
        She interrupted him. Her voice was as cold as the vapor rising from a block of dry ice. 'If you think Joanna would stoop to such a thing, then you don't know her at all.' Mariko was stiff with anger. Her small hands were fisted on her lap.
        After a while he nodded. 'You're right. She's not that mixed up… or that selfish.'
        Gradually the stiffness left Mariko.
        He said, 'But I wouldn't think she's the type to seriously consider suicide, either.'
        'She was so depressed before she met you. Then after she… rejected you… it got worse. At one moment she was so far down that death seemed the only way out. But she's strong. Even stronger than my mama-san, who is an iron lady.'
        The bedroom door opened, and Dr. Mifuni entered the living room. He was a short man with a round face and thick black hair. When meeting someone new, the Japanese were usually quick to smile, but Mifuni was somber.
        Alex was sure that something had gone wrong, that Joanna had taken a turn for the worse. His mouth went as dry as talcum.
        Even under these less than ideal circumstances, Mariko took the time to introduce the two men formally, with a good word said about the qualities of each. Now there were bows and smiles all round.
        The introductory ritual almost shattered Alex's brittle nerves. He nearly pushed past the physician and into the bedroom. But he controlled himself and said, 'Isha-san dozo yoroshiku.'
        Mifuni bowed too. 'I am honored to make your acquaintance, Mr. Hunter.'
        'Is Joanna feeling better?' Mariko asked.
        'I've given her something to calm her. But there's still time for Mr. Hunter to talk with her before the sedative takes effect.' He smiled at Alex again. 'In fact, she insists on seeing you.'
        Unnerved by the emotional turmoil that gripped him, Alex went into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

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    21
        
        Joanna was sitting in bed, propped against pillows, wearing blue silk pajamas. Although her hair was damp and lank, although she was so pale that her skin seemed translucent, although vague dark smudges of weariness encircled her eyes, she was still beautiful to him. The suffering showed only in her amethyst-blue eyes; that evidence of her pain and fear made Alex weak as he sat on the edge of the bed.
        'Hi,' she said softly.
        'Hi.'
        'After they pumped all the sleeping pills out of me, I've been given a sedative. Isn't that ironic?'
        He could think of nothing to say.
        'Before I fall asleep,' she said, 'I want to know… do you still think I'm really… not who I think I am?'
        'Lisa Chelgrin? Yes. I do.' 'How can you be so positive?'
        'There've been developments since we had lunch. I'm being followed everywhere I go.'
        'By whom?'
        'I need time to explain.'
        'I’m not going anywhere,' she said.
        'But your eyes are beginning to droop.'
        She blinked rapidly. 'I reached the breaking point tonight. Almost did a stupid thing.'
        'Hush. It's over.'
        'I wanted to die. If I don't have the courage to die… then I've got to find out why I behave the way I do.'
        He held her hand and said