The Last Gentleman

of thick curly hair. In his Reb-colonel hat he looked like Garibaldi.
    â€œDo you know what he can do?”
    â€œNo sir.”
    â€œHe can hit a golf ball over three hundred yards and he is studying a book by the name of The Theory of Large Numbers. What do you think of a fellow like that?”
    â€œThat’s all right.” Mr. Ciocchio smiled and nodded as cordially as ever. The engineer noticed that his eyes did not converge but looked at him, one past each ear.
    â€œHe is evermore smart.”
    The engineer nodded grimly. This old fellow, his employer, he had long since learned, had a good working blade of malice. Was this not in fact his secret: that he had it in for everybody? “Sir,” he said, politely disengaging himself from Mr. Vaught’s master grip. “Kitty said you wished to see me. As a matter of fact, I wanted to see you earlier. Jamie said he wanted to take a trip out west. I told him I would take him if it met with your approval.”
    Mr. Ciocchio, seeing his chance, vanished as quickly as Kitty had.
    â€œBut now, it seems, plans have been changed. Jamie tells me he wishes to postpone the trip. I might add too that I asked Kitty to marry me. This seems as good a time as any to inform you of my intentions and to ask your approval. I am here, however, at your request. At least, that is my understanding.”
    â€œWell now,” said the old man, turning away and looking back, eyeing him with his sliest gleam. Aha! At least he knows I’m taking none of his guff, the engineer thought. “Billy boy,” he said in a different voice and hobbled over to the rail with a brand-new limp—oh, what a rogue he was. “Take a look at this place. Do you want to know what’s wrong with it?”
    â€œYes sir.”
    â€œDo you see those fellows out there?” He nodded to a half dozen colonels weaving fretfully through the field of cars.
    â€œYes sir.”
    â€œI’ll tell you a funny damn thing. Now there’s not a thing in the world wrong with those fellows except for one thing. They want to sell. They know everything in the book about selling. But there is one thing they can’t do. They can’t close.”
    â€œClose?”
    â€œClose out. They can’t get a man in here where those fellows are.” He pointed to more colonels sitting at desks in the fenced-off area. “That’s where we sign them up. But they can’t get them in here. They stand out there and talk and everybody is nice and agreeable as can be. And the man says all right, thanks a lot, I’ll be back. And he’s gone. Now you know, it’s a funny thing but that is something you can’t teach a fellow—when the time has come to close. We need a coordinator.”
    â€œSir?”
    â€œWe need a liaison man to cruise the floor, watch all the pots, see which one is coming to a boil. Do you understand me?”
    â€œYes sir,” said the engineer gloomily.
    â€œI’m going to tell you the plain truth, Billy,” said the old man in a tone of absolute sincerity. “You can’t hire a good man for love or money. I’d pay twenty thousand a year for just an ordinary good man.”
    â€œYes sir.”
    â€œI can’t understand it.”
    â€œWhat’s that, sir?”
    â€œWhat makes those fellows so mis’able? Look at them. They are the most mis’able bunch of folks I ever saw.”
    â€œYou mean they’re unhappy?”
    â€œLook at them.”
    They were. “What makes them miserable?”
    â€œYou figure that out and I’ll pay you twenty-five.”
    â€œYes sir,” said the engineer absently; he had caught sight of Kitty waiting for him in her Sprite.
    â€œListen son,” said the old man, drawing him close again. “I’m going to tell you the truth. I don’t know what the hell is going on out there with those women and Jamie and all. Whatever yall want to do is all right with me. And I’m tickled to death to hear about you and Kitty. More than delighted. I know that you and I understand each other and that I’m more than happy to have you with us here any time you feel like it.”
    â€œYes sir,” said the engineer glumly.
    By evening the engineer felt as uncommonly bad as he had felt good when he had set out for the university early in the morning of the same day. His knee leapt. Once he thought he heard the horrid ravening particles