The Last Gentleman

“Come on, let’s go get us a Coke.”
    7 .
    He followed the older man to a niche off the corridor which had been fitted out as a tiny waiting room with a chrome sofa, a Coke machine, and a single window overlooking the great plunging battleship of Manhattan.
    Mr. Vaught put his hand on the younger man’s knee and gave it a shake. “Son, when you reach my age I hope you will not wake up to find that you’ve gone wrong somewhere and that your family have disappointed you.”
    â€œI hope so too, sir.” He was sure he would not. Because he had lived a life of pure possibility, the engineer, who had often heard older people talk this way, always felt certain he would not repeat their mistakes.
    â€œIt’s something when the world goes to hell and your own family lets you down, both,” said Mr. Vaught, but not at all dolefully, the engineer noticed. His expression was as chipper as ever.
    The tiny room soon became so thick with cigar smoke that the engineer’s eyes began to smart. Yet, as he sat blinking, hands on knees, he felt quite content.
    â€œAh, Billy, there’s been a loss of integrity in the world, all the things that made this country great.”
    â€œYes sir.”
    â€œBut the bitterest thing of all is the ingratitude of your own children.”
    â€œIt must be.”
    Mr. Vaught sat on the very edge of the sofa and turned around and looked back through the smoke. “Rita’s the only one that’s worth a damn and she’s not even kin.”
    â€œSutter’s the oldest,” said the engineer, nodding.
    â€œThe oldest and the smartest and still isn’t worth a damn. Never was and never will be.”
    â€œHe wrote some very learned articles.”
    â€œI’ll tell you what he did. He went to the bad on liquor and women.”
    â€œIs that so?” All his life the engineer had heard of men who “went to the bad” on women, but he still didn’t quite know what it meant. “Isn’t he a good doctor?” he asked the older man.
    â€œHe had the best education money could buy and you know what he does?”
    â€œNo sir.”
    â€œHe went to Harvard Medical School and made the second highest grades ever made there. After that he interned at Massachusetts General Hospital. Came home. Practiced four years with wonderful success. Was doing people a world of good. Then he quit. Do you know what he does now?”
    â€œNo sir.”
    â€œHe’s assistant coroner. He makes five hundred dollars a month cutting on dead people in the daytime and chases women all night. Why, he’s not even the coroner. He’s the assistant. He works at the hospital but he doesn’t practice. What he is is an interne. He’s a thirty-four-year-old interne.”
    â€œIs that right?”
    â€œYou know that boy in there,” Mr. Vaught nodded toward the room.
    â€œYes sir.”
    â€œHe is evermore crazy about his big brother and I be dog if I know why. And smart!”
    â€œWhich one?”
    â€œBoth.”
    â€œâ€””
    â€œI’ll tell you what happened, though.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI made a mistake. Three years ago, when my other daughter Val had her twenty-first birthday, I got the idea of giving each of my children a hundred thousand dollars if they hadn’t smoked till they were twenty-one. Why not enjoy your money while you’re living?”
    â€œThat’s true,” said the engineer, who owned $7.
    â€œAnyway I didn’t want to have to look at the bunch of them tippy-toeing around and grinning like chess-cats, waiting for me to die. You know what I mean.”
    â€œYes sir,” said the other, laughing.
    â€œSo what do you think happens? Sutter is older, so he gets his check the same time as Val. So Sutter, as soon as he gets his money, quits practicing medicine, goes out West, and buys a ranch and sits down and watches the birdies. And when he spends the money, do you know what he does? He takes a job at a dude ranch, like a ship’s doctor, only he’s taking care of five hundred grass widows. Oh, I really did him a favor. Oh, I really did him a big favor. Wait. I want to show you something. Today, you know, is Kitty’s and Jamie’s birthday. Kitty is twenty-one and Jamie is only sixteen, but I’m going to give him his money now.”
    The engineer looked at the other curiously, but he could fathom nothing.
    â€œMaybe