The Twelve Kingdoms: A Thousand Leagues of Wind

which opinions I should accept, which I should reject. That is all I've got to work with. That is all I know."
    "But--"
    "So can you give me a little time? This is all too different from the world I know."
    Keiki wore an expression of utter befuddlement.
    "Right now, I can't stand sitting on that throne."
    Keiki's eyes opened wide with amazement.
    "When I was in Yamato, I lived in constant dread of being disliked by anybody. From dawn to dusk, I constantly tried to read people's expressions, tried to stay in everybody's good graces, tried to keep my balance on that impossibly narrow tightrope. Now I'm trying to read your expression, that of the ministers, the man in the street, and then attempting to agree with everybody. It's impossible."
    "Empress--"
    "I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice. But I find myself headed in the same direction. Right now, I know how this will be interpreted. The ministers won't be pleased. It's because she's a woman, they'll all sigh." Youko laughed to herself. "Maybe everything will come crashing down before my very eyes. But a king who tries to read everybody's mind, who sways back and forth like a reed in the wind, well, good riddance to such a king, and the sooner the better."
    Keiki stood there, expressionless. At length, he nodded. "All right."
    "For the time being, I shall leave the kingdom in your hands. I know that at the very least you won't oppress the people. If there ever comes a time when my presence is absolutely required, then send the fastest runner in the land to fetch me. Keiki, I am asking you to let me do this."
    "You can count on me," Keiki said with a bow.
    Youko looked at him intently, then breathed a sigh of relief. "I really am grateful. It's good to know that you understand where I'm coming from."
    Keiki was the only real retainer she had. The king of En had many officials at his beck and call. The Royal En was a wild man whose actions exasperated all of his ministers, but they all trusted him, and he trusted them in turn. The only person capable of trusting her was Keiki, and the kirin was the only person in the palace she had any real faith in.
    "And what does Your Highness intend to do next, then?"
    "Like I said, I was thinking of seeing what life was like in the city. Pick up work as a day laborer, live alongside regular people."
    "If it meets with your approval, let me make arrangements for your sojourn beforehand."
    Youko tilted her head to the side. "Well . . . . "
    "You aren't intending to live as a vagabond, are you? Permit me this. Let me make arrangements that will at least put my own mind at ease."
    "All right. I'll leave that to you."
    Now Keiki drew a breath of relief.
    "I'm sorry for being so selfish."
    Keiki smiled thinly. "To tell the truth, I find myself somewhat relieved as well."
    "You do?"
    "At any rate, please return as quickly as possible."
    "Yes, I know."

    Leaving the Inner Palace, Keiki stopped to look out at the Sea of Clouds. As complicated as things had just gotten, he was strangely relieved.
    Keiki had served two empresses. The posthumous name of the first was Yo-ou. Her reign had lasted a mere six years, and she had remained shut away in the palace for most of that time. The woman had no interest whatsoever in governance or politics.
    The memory of her pale face arose from the recesses of his memory. She had a gentle, prudent nature. Except for her extreme shyness, she was not undeserving of the throne. However, what she truly desired was a rather banal sort of happiness.
    More than wishing happiness for her people, Yo-ou wanted a peaceful, frugal existence. She didn't care for riches, just a simple life lived without praise or censure. She only desired to be left in peace to till the land, marry a man, and raise their children.
    He could still hear the sound of her working at her loom.
    When she first acceded to the throne, it seemed that she would serve honorably and true. But she soon grew weary of the rivalries amongst the ministers. The officials she had inherited from the previous monarch wrangled over political turf and fought for leadership positions. As this life surrounded and closed in on her, she withdrew from it. She secluded herself deeper and deeper within the palace and there worked at her loom. It was her way of trying to undo everything he had imposed on her.
    "And here I am, still thinking about her."
    Keiki smiled a grim smile. The first time he met Youko, he was struck at how much she resembled Yo-ou.