The Twelve Kingdoms: Dreaming of Paradise

are worlds apart?"
    Shuka nodded. It was intensely painful and distressing to imagine how deep such misunderstandings might go.
    "But could it at least be possible once?"
    Shuka turned her face to him.
    "Can there be any doubt that Shishou-sama was the recipient of Divine Providence at the time of his coronation? If he'd been headed in the wrong direction from the start of the Imperial Court, could he be said to have protected and preserved throne? Could he be said to have even received the Mandate of Heaven in the first place?"
    "I can't imagine the situation was ever as bad as that. We certainly made our fair share of mistakes. At the same time, we had our successes as well, minor though they might be. But that may only be my desire to pat myself on the back."
    "Of course. It stands to reason. But something has changed. The Kasho Kada changed something. It is said that the Kasho Kado reveals in dreams a vision of utopia. Perhaps that is our original assumptions have been mistaken."
    "I don't understand your point."
    "What if—what if the Kasho Kado shows a different vision to every person who uses it?"
    Shuka's mouth opened in surprise, but she couldn't think of what to say.
    "That would explain everything. The Taiho used the Kasho Kado. But the vision she saw was unique to herself. It would have nothing to do with the goals Shisou-sama had made for himself. Junkou-sama then used it, and saw something that the Taiho had not seen, something quite apart from what Sai was."
    "Unbelievable. And then Shishou used it? And saw his own, unique utopia? And it coincided with his own visions of the future, and so reinforced his convictions."
    Seiki nodded. "I don't think the utopia shown by the Kasho Kada is a true Shangri-La. You're not seeing the way the kingdom ought to be. The utopia Shishou saw was his vision of an ideal kingdom. The utopia the Taiho saw was her vision of an ideal kingdom. Reflecting a kirin's idealism, it would be a kingdom suffused with benevolence, where not one particle of malice or hate would be found. There's no way that such a place could have anything in common with the real Sai. That's what I think is going on. The Kasho Kado doesn't point you in the right direction. It embodies your ideals and shows them to you in a dream."
    And so the two would always agree. Shuka could see how it all made sense. "But what would the purpose of such Imperial Regalia be?"
    "I think it would serve the following purpose: most people really don't know what they really want or wish for."
    "Oh, nonsense," Shuka said with a grim smile.
    Seiki eyes narrowed. "Haven't you ever been at sea about something? Unsure whether one in the hand was really worth two in the bush?"
    "Well—"
    "For example, you returned from Sou to Sai. However, Princess Bun did offer you a position with the Sou government, which no doubt delighted you. Did you not have a strong urge to stay behind in Sou? But instead you returned to Sai. Why was that?"
    "Because Eishuku persuasively argued that we should. Yes, the thought of staying in Sou crossed my mind. But as Eishuku said, we share some of the responsibility for bringing Sai to its current state. We raised the banner of righteousness. We lay the fault at King Fu's feet. We built the new Imperial Court alongside Shishou. So how could we cast all of that aside now?"
    "So did you tell yourself you could not cast it all aside, or you must not?"
    A confused look came to Shuka's face. It seemed a distinction without a difference.
    "If you say that I remonstrated with myself that I must not, I would probably agree. I do not wish to abandon our righteous cause. I must not abandon it."
    "By saying you must not, aren't you refusing to contemplate any other course of action? Because you indeed harbor doubts about doing so, you feel compelled to cast those doubts from your mind?"
    "That's not it. I don't want to be some sort of fair-weather patriot. If I did, I'd live to regret it. I'd come to hate myself. I don't want to turn into a person like that."
    "Meaning, you really have been of two minds about it?"
    Shuka didn't know how to reply. She felt sullied. She wanted to run away from herself.
    Seiki smiled. "Please, don't look at me like that. This isn't something you need to be ashamed of. You wouldn't be human if you didn't seriously consider abandoning this ship and starting all over again in Sou. Of course you would be of two minds about it. There's nothing admirable about the person who hews to the