The Vincent Boys 02 - The Vincent Brothers

date.”
    He reached out, touched the side of my face, and wiped away tears with his finger. “Nothing about asking you out was a mistake.”
    I let out a sad laugh, “Yeah, right.”
    “I mean it,” he sighed and dropped his hand to grab one of mine. “I realized today on the boat that you liked Sawyer. The rest of the female population in Grove has a thing for Sawyer, except for Ash, so that wasn’t a big deal. I still wanted my chance. I didn’t expect Sawyer to find a way to come too.”
    I’d been stupid enough to believe he had come because of me. It was sad, how deluded I’d been. “I’m an idiot,” I whispered through the lump in my throat.
    “No, you’re smart, beautiful, and funny.”
    I smiled up at him and wiped the rest of the tears from my face. “Thank you.”
    “You gonna be okay?”
    “Yes, I just need a little alone time. If that’s okay.”
    Ethan nodded, “Sure, I’ll meet you back at our seats.”
    “Alright.”

    I washed my face with the cold water in the sink and dried it off with a paper towel. My makeup was gone and the freckles I worked so hard to cover up were standing out like a neon sign against my red face. I had makeup in my purse but I’d left it in the car. Sawyer had more than likely locked it but then again these south Alabama people rarely locked their vehicles. I needed to walk and get my mind off things. I could at least check the car and give my red face time to return to its natural pale color.
    I searched for row D and headed down until I saw the back-end of Sawyer’s mother’s Mercedes. Turning in between the cars, I didn’t notice the car door open until Sawyer was right in front of me.
    Lana,” he said in a surprised tone.
    Backing up, I started to turn so I could run back to the bathroom and cry a little more because he was just so perfect it hurt to look at him
    “Lana, please, don’t go. I need to talk to you.”
    “You’ve said enough.”
    “Lana,” Sawyer grabbed my arm and firmly but gently turned me around and backed me up against the car door. “I need you to listen to me,” he pleaded and cupped my face in his hands, gently rubbing my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
    “I’m an asshole,” he started and I fought the urge to nod my head in agreement. “I didn’t mean any of that the way it sounded. It wasn’t even about you or how you make me feel.”
    “Really? Because it sure sounded like it,” I blurted out.
    “Leann was accusing me of never loving Ashton. She was saying that I thought of her as a possession or trophy. It set me off.” He closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
    “With you, things are different. I’m not sure what it is but when I’m with you, I feel something I’ve never felt before. I do want you. Bad. It surprises me and scares the shit out of me. Maybe I’m not good for you. Maybe what I feel is wrong. Because, I did love Ashton. She was all I needed... but never did I feel the uncontrollable desire to get her underneath me.” His voice dropped, “Never did I make up reasons to get her to wrap her legs around me so I could feel her pressed up against me. Never,” he swallowed hard. “Never, did I think about being inside her.”
    I forgot to breathe as I stared up at him. He looked torn between fear and longing. The sweet guy I’d fallen in love with years ago was there but it was underneath the other guy he was slowly changing into.
    “I’m not good for you. I don’t know why you make me want you so bad. I was angry with myself when I said all that earlier. I was mad because I wanted you in a way I’d never experienced before. Before you, I just wanted to excel in football and school. I wanted my parents to be proud of me. But now, I want other things too. You get to me in a way I don’t understand.”
    I stood up on my tiptoes and stopped his words with my lips but before he could pull me against him, I stepped back and broke the kiss. “Thank you for explaining it to me,” I replied as his eyes searched my face for an answer to why I’d kissed him and backed away so quickly.
    “I know you loved or love Ashton. I watched you grow up adoring her. It’s just that... I’m not sure I can handle you flirting with me one moment and the next sulking or having angry outbursts over Ashton and Beau.”
    “Fair enough,” Sawyer said as he reached down and threaded his fingers through mine. “I’m not ready for any kind of relationship but I’d like to enjoy this summer.