Volume 01 - Dirty Shorts

sometime and just see where things go. You do already know I don’t cook or clean. I’m also very competitive, and I like to get my way.”
    “You snore,” Rick added.
    “I do not snore!” Ashley said outraged. “Take that back!”
    “Don’t worry, it was a cute snore. It was really soft and reminded me of when I was a kid. Our golden retriever would curl up and cover his nose with his tail, and every now and then, he’d let out a little snort.” Rick said smiling.
    “You didn’t just say I snore like a dog.”
    “I said it was cute.” Rick justified, “You’re the one who started listing your faults; I was just contributing to the list. And you should know, the more excuses you make for why we won’t work, the more determined I get to prove you wrong.”
    “I didn’t really need help with that list, thanks.” Ashley said, nudging Rick’s shoulder with his own. “I guess since I’ve charmed you so much, the least I can do is let you take me out sometime.”
    Rick dropped Ashley off with a passionate kiss and a promise to get in touch when he got back into town on Sunday.

    Welcome Home Surprise

    When Ashley stepped out of the elevator on his floor, he could see a man knocking on his door. Even from the back, he could tell by the tight jeans and designer shirt that it was his kind-of-a-friend, Jared. Okay, he’s really Ashley’s best friend, but Ashley still thought about jumping back into the elevator cab, if only the doors hadn’t already closed. With a sigh, Ashley walked up and tapped on Jared’s shoulder.
    Spinning around, Jared said with false sincerity, “I’m sorry,” and without missing a beat added, “Ms. Lohan. Did I disturb you?” Nodding at Ashley’s door he continued, “My friend won’t wake up and he turned his phone off.”
    Ignoring the gibe about looking like Lindsay Lohan, Ashley asked, “Did you ever consider your friend might not want to see you this early?” Ashley fumbled around in the plastic bag for his phone. Finding it, he said, “Phone’s dead.” He waved it in the air for Jared to see.
    “Holy fuck!” Jared sounded shocked. “Ashley, what the hell happened to you?”
    Ashley glanced down at himself. Yeah, he was a mess, but he couldn’t be that bad. “Nothing happened to me.”
    Jared studied Ashley a little closer before asking, “Then why do you look like a sickly crack whore?”
    “Day drag.” Ashley answered simply. “The sun turns vampires to dust and drag queens into this.” He motioned with his hand down his body. “Now, will you move so I can unlock my door?” Ashley would like to avoid running into anyone else in his current state.
    “Please do,” Jared gestured to the door while stepping out of the way. “I’m having an emergency and need to borrow a Q-tip, pronto.”
    “You came all the way over here for a Q-tip?” Ashley finished unlocking his door, and they stepped into the apartment.
    “I met a guy last night. He lives in this building but he did not have a single Q-tip!” he crossed his arms and sighed heavily. “I think his name was Bruce.”
    “And you couldn’t wait until you got home for one?” Ashley questioned skeptically.
    “No, I could not wait.” Jared said resolutely, heading towards the bathroom. Ashley went to his room and placed his wig on his vanity, he would brush it out later. He tossed the plastic bag on his bed. Changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, Ashley walked back into his living room.
    Jared seemed disappointed standing in the middle of the room, both hands in his jean pockets. “It didn’t work. I can still feel it in there,” he said, giving Ashley a pleading look.
    “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ashley said, feeling confused.
    “It’s Bruce’s fault!” Jared said animatedly. “The bastard didn’t warn me he was a long distance shooter. He hit me right in the ear with one of his spunk cannon fires. Luckily, I had my eyes closed.” Jared flopped down on my couch. “How could he not warn me first? That’s rude, right?” Jared looked at Ashley, who nodded in consent. “He should have handed me a pair of earplugs and said ‘You’ll want these, it’s going to be a wet ride!’ At the least he could have mentioned something about the front row being in the splash zone.”
    “That’s more information than I would ever need.” Ashley stated, sitting down beside Jared.
    Jared ignored him and continued, “Then Bruce is all like ‘Let me clean