White Tiger

sit with me, Emma, Leo.’
    Mr Chen dropped his towel onto the mat and went towards the water. ‘Be careful, Daddy,’ Simone called. He didn’t hear her. He went straight out into the surf, dived into one of the far breakers and disappeared.
    ‘He’s not coming back up,’ I said urgently.
    ‘He doesn’t need to, dear,’ Ms Kwan said.
    The sun set behind us. The highrises along the beach made elongated shadows on the sand. The sky turned a delicate shade of lilac and the breeze becamecooler. The beach was almost deserted. I pulled on my wrap.
    Simone chatted in front of us as she played in the sand.
    ‘He’s been in the water for nearly an hour, Ms Kwan,’ I said. ‘Are you sure he’s all right?’ ‘He is in his element, Emma.’
    Mr Chen emerged from the waves and fell into the shallows. He lay in the water, his sides heaving, then flopped onto his back. The waves covered his face.
    Both Leo and I rose to help him.
    ‘Hold,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘No need.’
    He pulled himself up to sit in the shallows. He untied his hair, shook it out and tied it back again. Then he sat with his hands around his knees.
    Simone ran to him. She slammed into him from behind and wrapped her little arms around his neck. He smiled over his shoulder, pulled her into his lap and rocked her.
    ‘He is a lucky man to have so many who love him,’ Ms Kwan said.
    Neither Leo nor I said anything.
    ‘But you know it can never be as you wish, for either of you.’
    ‘I am content to serve as Retainer,’ Leo said. ‘If he were able to return my feelings, he would not be the same man. He would not be him .’
    I glanced up at Leo. I’d probably known from the start. He saw me watching him and smiled slightly.
    ‘You know there is nothing I can do for you once he is gone,’ Ms Kwan said.
    ‘I know. Once he’s gone, it’s not important anyway.’
    ‘What, Leo?’ I said.
    He rubbed the back of his head. ‘Do you have to know absolutely everything?’
    ‘Only if someone’s safety is at stake.’
    ‘Well, then, in this case you don’t need to know.’
    I shrugged and turned back to watch Mr Chen and Simone. ‘I respect that, Leo. If it’s your private business then you don’t need to tell me anything.’
    He watched them as well. ‘I thought you were being curious, wanting to know everything that’s happening. But you’re just looking out for them, aren’t you?’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘And you, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Living to serve. Content, as Leo is, to love without expectation.’
    ‘I wish it could be different for you, Emma,’ Leo said. ‘For both of you. I should have told you sooner—given you the chance to leave. Both of us should. And now you’re stuck here, just like I am. You should go.’
    ‘How would he feel if I left, Leo?’
    Leo was silent.
    My throat was so thick I had difficulty with the words. ‘I feel the same way you do. I am content.’
    Ms Kwan’s hand appeared under my nose, holding a packet of tissues. I took one and nodded my thanks, then wiped my eyes.
    ‘Normally I try to give people hope,’ she said. ‘In your case, there is none. It can never be.’
    ‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘But I’m happy with what I have.’
    She wrapped her arms around me and her power moved through me. I was filled with a warm, glowing feeling of comfort.
    After a while she pulled back and smiled into my face. I nodded; I was okay. She turned her gaze to Mr Chen. ‘He will be fine now. Stay here for as long as you need. The apartment is yours.’
    ‘Is it real, Ms Kwan?’ Leo said.
    ‘Quite real. I own the apartment outright, and as long as you need it, it is yours. Take care of him. Take care of them both.’
    I looked up to thank her but she was gone.
    Leo moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. ‘I think we must be the two stupidest people in the whole world.’
    ‘I think we’re the luckiest.’ I leaned into him. ‘It must have killed you when he married Michelle.’
    ‘I was very happy for them. They loved each other very much. It was wonderful to see. And then Simone came along. I think that was the happiest time of his life.’ He smiled at me. ‘And now he has you.’
    I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
    ‘I really wish it could be different for you, Emma. For you and him. You should hear him sometimes when he talks about you. I’ve been telling him for ages that he’s mad to keep you around. He’ll only end up hurting you.’
    ‘Right now I’m