Wuthering Heights

great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and
he
remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the Universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods. Time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees – my love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath – a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I
am
Heathcliff – he's always, always in my mind – not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself – but, as my own being – so, don't talk of our separation again – it is impracticable; and –«
    She paused, and hid her face in the folds of my gown; but I jerked it forcibly away. I was out of patience with her folly!
    »If I can make any sense out of your nonsense, Miss,« I said, »it only goes to convince me that you are ignorant of the duties you undertake in marrying; or else, that you are a wicked, unprincipled girl. But, trouble me with no more secrets. I'll not promise to keep them.«
    »You'll keep that?« she asked, eagerly.
    »No, I'll not promise,« I repeated.
    She was about to insist, when the entrance of Joseph finished our conversation; and Catherine removed her seat to a corner, and nursed Hareton, while I made the supper.
    After it was cooked, my fellow servant and I began to quarrel who should carry some to Mr. Hindley; and we didn't settle it till all was nearly cold. Then we came to the agreement that we would let him ask, if he wanted any, for we feared particularly to go into his presence when he had been for some time alone.
    »Und hah isn't that nowt comed in frough th' field, be this time? What is he abaht? girt eedle seeght!« demanded the old man, looking round for Heathcliff.
    »I'll call him,« I replied. »He's in the barn, I've no doubt.«
    I went and called, but got no answer. On returning, I whispered to Catherine that he had heard a good part of what she said, I was sure; and told her how I saw him quit the kitchen just as she complained of her brother's conduct regarding him.
    She jumped up in a fine fright – flung Hareton onto the settle, and ran to seek for her friend herself, not taking leisure to consider why she was so flurried, or how her talk would have affected him.
    She was absent such a while that Joseph proposed that we should wait no longer. He cunningly conjectured that they were staying away in order to avoid hearing his protracted blessing. They were »ill eneugh for ony fahl manners,« he affirmed. And, on their behalf, he added that night a special prayer to the usual quarter of an hour's supplication before meat, and would have tacked another to the end of the grace, had not his young mistress broken in upon him with a hurried command, that he must run down the road, and, wherever Heathcliff had rambled, find and make him re-enter directly!
    »I want to speak to him, and I
must,
before I go upstairs,« she said. »And the gate is open, he is somewhere out of hearing; for he would not reply, though I shouted at the top of the fold as loud as I could.«
    Joseph objected at first; she was too much in earnest, however, to suffer contradiction; and, at last, he placed his hat on his head, and walked grumbling forth.
    Meantime Catherine paced up and down the floor, exclaiming –
    »I wonder where he is – I wonder where he
can
be! What did I say, Nelly? I've forgotten. Was he vexed at my bad humour this afternoon? Dear! tell me what I've said to grieve him? I do wish he'd come. I do wish he would!«
    »What a noise for nothing!« I cried, though rather uneasy myself. »What a trifle scares you! It's surely no great cause of alarm that Heathcliff should take a moonlight saunter on the moors, or, even lie too sulky to speak to us, in the hay-loft. I'll engage he's lurking there. See, if I don't ferret him out!«
    I departed to renew my search; its result was disappointment, and Joseph's quest ended in the same.
    »Yon lad gets war un war!« observed he on re-entering. »He's left th' yate ut t' full swing, and miss's pony has trodden dahn two rigs uh corn, un plottered through, raight o'er intuh t' meadow! Hahsomdiver, t' maister 'ull play t' devil to-morn, and he'll do weel. He's patience itsseln wi' sich careless, offald craters – patience itsseln he is! Bud he'll nut be soa allus – yah's see, all on ye! Yah mumn't drive him aht uf his heead fur nowt!«
    »Have you