1936 On the Continent

drink and watching the performance, possibly through smoked glasses. If you take a fancy to one of the nude señoritas you may “engage” her for as long as you choose.
    The place is thoroughly Spanish, with shawls and all the other etceteras, except that the performing señoritas are generally artificial platinum blondes. There are two or three policemen in the auditorium to see that everybody behaves with due decorum.
    In parenthesis, the
guardia civil
is also in evidence on the beach to see that your bathing dress is not too scanty.
    After the music-hall you may go to a café. They are open all night, and after a certain hour they are invaded—in a most ladylike manner—by professional ladies who, under the eyes of the police, offer their company to the male patrons. It is part of the etiquette of such encounters to offer the lady a cigarette.
On Smokes
    Talking about cigarettes reminds me that tobacco is very cheap in Spain, but ready-made cigarettes are not commonly sold at the tobacconists’ shops. Unless you wish to pay fancy prices for imported English brands you must roll your own cigarettes or ask expressly for
cigarillos ya hechos
. (If you pronounce this
thigariyyos yah hechos
you cannot go far wrong.)
Canarias
are not a bad example of the few Spanish brands of ready-made cigarettes.
    To return to San Sebastian, you can indulge in every sort of sport in this lovely place in addition to “star gazing.” There are horse-races, motor races, yacht regattas, tennis tournaments, golf matches, pelota games (about which more anon) and bull fights. But we will not attend a bull fight until we reach a more typically Spanish town.
    Of course, San Sebastian also has some famous buildings, etc., but you will see those in any case, so there is no need to call attention to them. On the other hand, there are countless excursions that can be made from San Sebastian, to some of which I must refer. You can take a beautiful half-day trip to Zumaya, returning to San Sebastian via Tolosa. Loyola, the birthplace of Saint Ignatius de Loyola, is also within easy distance of San Sebastian, and so is the Pass of Azarete, from which you get a breath-takingly lovely view. Details of such trips can be easily obtained at the office of the
Patronato Nacional del Turismo
, where at least one clerk will be able to converse with you in English. But if you wish to see picturesque and amusing things, try to see the environs of San Sebastian on a Sunday, when the people go to church in their colourful Sunday best, and thereafter enjoy their leisure in various interesting ways. Above all, you will be able to convince yourself that the institution of chaperons still exists in Spain. The chaperons are invariably heavyweights, and they invariably carry a dainty fan which they handle with the skill of a conjurer. But pray do not shed tears over the sad fate of the Madonna-faced señoritas who are thus guarded by their elderly female relations, for the said female relations are more amenable to reason than they used to be, as you will see further on.
Bilbao
    I assume that your visit to Spain falls in the summer, when it is uncomfortably hot in the interior, so I will keep you within range of the sea breezes from the Bay of Biscay. But before we go on to Bilbao I must tell you a few things about the Spanish railways. Firstly, the stations all over Spain leave much to be desired in the matter of cleanliness. Irun and San Sebastian are no criterion, the former being a frontier station, and the latter the most “Europeanised” city in the country. Otherwise—well, it has got to be said—the railway stations are so dirty that you could not be blamed for assuming that they have been deliberately made so for some obscure and mysterious reason. Secondly, the railways are run by various companies, and you never know what trains have first- and second-class accommodation only, or first- and third-class only. Thirdly, the trainsdo not run punctually, though that is not a serious matter, since, being on holiday, you are not in a hurry. And fourthly and lastly, you have to wait in a queue for a long time before you can book your ticket, while the booking clerk, presumably, is quarrelling with or making love to his sweetheart. However, it may tickle your sense of humour to know that you are not allowed to use the waiting-room until you have booked your ticket, and you cannot book your ticket until a few minutes before your train is due to depart.
    But