Alien Diplomacy

other tricks she had about her person.
    Esteban Cantu gave me a charming, oily smile. Either his date was elsewhere or he’d come to the event stag. “Ambassador Martini, lovely to see you.”
    The rest of the Cabal of Evil shared their joy at my presence, other than Nathalie Gagnon-Brewer, who, formal affair or not, apparently couldn’t stop going for the high score on Angry Birds.
    Lydia Montgomery was here, looking both excited and a little intimidated—like the new kid at school who’d expected to be relegated to the ranks of the Losers but was, instead, being welcomed into the Cool Kids Club and wasn’t sure if it would last or end up as the cruelest of jokes. Eugene was nowhere to be seen. I wondered if he was in the bathroom, puking his guts out, and envied him if he was.
    “Hi. Great to see you all, but I need to find my husband.” I hoped Superman, Batman, or the Flash would show up soon. I needed some support from the rest of the Justice League or the X-Men. Even Wolverine would’ve been overwhelmed by this mob.
    “Oh, but we want a chance to get to know you,” Brewer said. “We have so much we can offer American Centaurion.” He nudged Nathalie, almost imperceptibly, and she nodded, still engrossed with her cell phone.
    “And there’s so much you can offer in return,” Kramer added. Marcia was hanging on his arm and nodded enthusiastically, no nudging necessary.
    “You’ve always struck me as much more…reasonable than your husband,” Armstrong added. I noted that Armstrong’s wife, which I knew he had, was nowhere around. So either she was with Cantu’s date, or she was home.
    Lydia nodded loyally. “Eugene says you’re the real brains behind the American Centaurion mission.”
    I realized that I had three senators and a representative, let alone several other political movers and shakers, who were all under the impression that I was the weak link for American Centaurion and susceptible to their flattery and bribes. The idea was somewhat hilarious, but also insulting, and it made me mad. Good. Mad was a lot better for me than intimidated.
    “We do our best to be as reasonable as possible,” I said, while contemplating my escape route. “However, we don’t find that same mindset often reciprocated.”
    Amazing. I wanted to tell them to go to hell, but instead, I wasbeing all polite and deflecting like a pro. No one in the Washington Wife class, Mrs. Darcy Lockwood or myself in particular, would have ever believed I’d heard a word. But make me mad and put me into this situation, and here it was, flowing out as if I’d actually studied for this final exam.
    The others nodded, frowny faces of support and concern plastered on. On Joker Jaws, in particular, this was not a good look. “We want to help you,” she said, oozing sincerity like no truly sincere person ever does. “We can all remember how hard it can be here, when you’re first starting out.”
    “It’s so difficult to know who your friends are or aren’t,” Cantu added. “There are so many times you think someone you’ve known for years is on your side, only to find out they aren’t.” Wow, he was going for the Wedge of Separation between me and Chuckie awfully fast. This seemed especially odd since I was pretty sure he was at least involved with, if not in charge of, Operation Assassination.
    “Oh, we do understand that allegiances can shift,” I allowed. “However, we’re very careful to not make quick decisions on matters of policy.”
    “You’re such a progressive country,” Lydia added earnestly. “Your religious leader, for example.” The others nodded.
    “Yes?” I was going to make them come out and say it. Why not? I still had no clear, gracious way to escape.
    “Very progressive,” Whitmore said. “More progressive than many feel comfortable with, of course.”
    “Really? How so?” I channeled Serene and ensured I looked and sounded as innocent and naïve as possible.
    They all stared at me. “Um, ah, your country’s stance on many…social issues,” Brewer said. “Very…liberal.”
    “Oh?”
    “And yet,” Armstrong said smoothly, “your country seems quite…conservative on defense issues.”
    “Do we?”
    The group staring continued. My Washington Wife classmates, in particular, seemed shocked. Clearly, my answers weren’t what they’d been expecting. Good.
    Bryce tried the flattery approach again. “You look beautiful.”
    “You’re too kind. What’s Leslie