Alien in the Family

join anybody. See? Each planet has its stupidities.”
    “I’ll bet you twenty of my dollars my planet’s winning.”
    Jareen grinned. “I don’t take sucker bets, either.”

CHAPTER 70

    DOREEN CALLED IRVING, then went off to perform crowd control of the younger A-Cs. We heard a lot of ruckus start. My phone rang.
    “Girlfriend, what did you just start?”
    “You know, you didn’t have to carry the weight of the world by yourself, James.”
    He sighed. “Yeah, I did. It was a specific, personal request.”
    “You are the best, and I love you, you know that, right?”
    “Right. So, what’s happening? Richard won’t allow any of the wedding party to leave the groom’s room.”
    “Good. Keep Jeff and Christopher in there, in particular. That mean Mister Reynolds got a tip there were terrorists disguised as the A-C Diplomatic Corps trying to kill off all the high-ranking A-Cs as well as the head of the P.T.C.U. and the head of the C.I.A.’s ET division. We are very worried about where the real Diplomatic Corps is, of course, and will have to ensure these people tell us what they did with the real A-Cs.”
    He laughed. “I like it.”
    “So you can slow us down a bit.”
    “No. They can hold to the timeline. But I’m guessing you just stopped something I would have no control over.”
    “Yeah. Why is Jeff only in his pants?”
    “I’m not going to ask how you knew that. No nefarious reason. All the rest of his tux is here, and I’m looking at it. He’s just nervous, and I don’t want him sweating in it.”
    “He’s an A-C. They don’t sweat.”
    Reader chuckled. “He’s sweating. Just a little.” I could hear someone in the background say something, then roars of male laughter. “Jeff said I should tell you he’s not nervous at all.”
    “Yeah, the laughter isn’t a giveaway. Anyway, I’d imagine Chuckie will tell you when it’s all clear. The only ones who know are my female Airborne members, Mom, Lucinda, and Jareen. Oh, and Doreen, but she won’t give anything away. She might try to kill her parents, though.”
    “I’m sure Reynolds can handle it. Okay, you dressed?” The drill sergeant was back.
    “Yes. And unlike Jeff, I’m not sweating. It’s well air-conditioned in here. Not in my shoes or veil yet, but I’m wearing everything else.”
    “Your dad has the veil. He’s in here with us, of course, but it’s safe.”
    “I wasn’t worried.”
    “How’s your hair?”
    “Holding without feeling like it’s plastered. Pierre is amazing.”
    “Yeah, and well-connected, thankfully.”
    “Not as much as you.”
    “I suppose.” I heard more voices in the background. Reader sighed. “Jeff’s doing his jealousy thing where he’s wondering why you seem so much happier talking to me than to him.”
    “We’ll get off. Tell him it’s because I don’t sleep with you.”
    “I don’t know if that’ll help or not.”
    “You get to find out. Enjoy.”
    We left the dressing room and got a lot of excited comments from the other women in the larger women’s changing room. We waited for what seemed like forever but Claudia insisted was only thirty minutes, and then Doreen came in. “All clear. The situation was unpleasant but handled.”
    I pulled her into the private room. “What’s the plan?”
    She shrugged. “Their children will identify them.”
    “When?”
    “Later. Like, after you’re on your honeymoon later.”
    “Works for me.”
    Went back out and waited some more. My dad came in and sent any females not in the wedding party out, which included my grandmothers. I started to feel a couple of butterflies in my stomach. Dad said Reader wanted me in the shoes and veil now, so he went into the private room to help me.
    “Is Jeff dressed yet, Dad?”
    “He was starting when I left.” Dad was humming softly. The Wedding March, I realized, as I listened closely.
    “You happy I’m getting married?”
    “What? Oh, yes. You have a wonderful world ahead of you, kitten.”
    I waited. Nothing. “Um, Dad? Isn’t this the time for the father-daughter talk?”
    “Huh? Oh, the veil.” Dad pulled the veil out. Undid the tissue paper, spent a little time draping it just right. My hair stayed in place. I had to find out what brand of hairspray Pierre used; it was the best.
    “I kind of meant the father-daughter talk where you give me those bits of fatherly wisdom that will make my marriage work.” Mom’s had been pretty darned brief, but I’d been expecting