Alien Proliferation

others, in the living room of this penthouse. Christopher and Amy were conspicuously absent as I looked around the room.
    Caught Reader’s eye and he grinned. “You did tell us to leave them alone if they started to go for it.”
    “I’ll be sure to use the stairs,” Tito said with a laugh.
    “Are you going to be our in-house medical?”
    “Yeah, Richard seems to think it would be a good idea.” He shook his head. “Can’t believe how fast my life’s changed since running into you guys.”
    “I know exactly how you feel.” Looked around the room again. “Where’re Kevin, Brian, and Tim?”
    “Back at Dulce. Alicia and her family are there and getting the indoctrination into our world. Brian was worried about Serene. And Denise was getting a little anxious about her husband, especially after the whole mind-control thing.” Reader stretched. “Man, I’m tired. When the heck did we last sleep?”
    “I have no idea. All the running back and forth to Paris has my internal clock on the fritz.” I heard my phone ringing. “Where’s my purse?”
    Reader handed it to me. “We know not to let it get lost, girlfriend.”
    Dug my phone out. “Hi, Dad, what’s up?”
    “Kitten, could you all hurry up and get back to the Science Center?”
    “Is everything okay?” I started to give the “hurry up” signals and all the guys stood. Other than Reader, who just grinned.
    “Yes, yes. You’re just going to be late.”
    “Late for what?” I saw Reader’s expression. “Oh, no, really? Right now?”
    “Yes, right now. Hurry, I don’t want you to miss your Uncle Mort.”
    “Okay, Dad, we’ll be right there.” We hung up. “I see it’s time for the baby shower.” I could tell I hadn’t said this with the right kind of excitement by the way my mother rolled her eyes.
    “Induction ceremony,” Jeff corrected.
    “Big ol’ shower with everyone invited,” I countercor-rected.
    “Some girls are excited to have a shower,” Michael said with a laugh.
    “Oh, I love showers. Think they’re the best things in the world.” Jeff coughed. “But we’re going to a big party where everyone’s going to stare at me, and I’m going to have to squeal like I just won the lottery over every single item. Including the ones where I have no idea of what it’s supposed to do or be, or the ones I would rather die than use, or the ones that are ugly—”
    Jeff put his hand over my mouth. “Baby . . . bassinet.”
    “Let’s go to the shower!”
    “Who’s going to make sure Christopher and Amy are, uh, through?” Jerry asked. He clearly represented everyone else’s concern.
    I sighed, opened my phone, and dialed. It rang and went to voicemail. Hung up, dialed again. Same thing. One more time, answered on the last ring. “WHAT?”
    “Christopher! Great to get your attention. We’re all about to go back to Dulce. I hate to drag you two away from the study of etchings or betting on the submarine races or whatever it is you guys call it, but we’re all about to walk past wherever you are.”
    “So? We’ll catch up to you later.”
    “Uh, really, listen to me, I’ll talk slowly. We—and by we I mean me, Jeff, Jamie, my mother , your father , Tito, Jerry, Matt, Joe, Randy, Chip, Michael, and James—are about to file past you, slowly, and with a strong likelihood of comments and, perhaps, even recommendations or requests. There would be more of us in the parade, but Kevin, Brian, and Tim already left. I’d bet they walked by you, however. Be glad I had Chuckie take the gals home. Am I getting through?”
    “Yeah, thanks for the warning.”
    “How long do you two need to get dressed? Of course, by that, I don’t mean how much longer would you like, but how much longer do I stall before I merely take streaming video and ensure Jamie’s college fund?”
    “I hate you.”
    I heard Amy asking what was going on. “Tell Amy the eagle is landing.”
    “You’re kidding.”
    “No. Do it.” He did. I heard her shriek.
    “Okay, uh, fine, the mood’s sort of spoiled now, thanks a lot. Who the hell is the eagle anyway?” I heard Amy shriek my mother’s name. “Oh. Come on, she was okay with you and Jeff doing it anywhere and everywhere.” I heard Amy scream that my mother was not okay with it.
    Mom put her hand out and I gave her the phone. “Christopher. Yes, hello. We all—and by all, I mean including you and Amy who, let me mention, Sol and I think of as one of our ‘other’