Alien Proliferation

who could actually tell a believable fabrication, now and then, at any rate.”
    “Better hire some humans, then. You all still can’t lie to save anyone.” Well, other than Camilla and the Chosen Few, but they weren’t figuring into the equation at the moment.
    “Note the lovely view.” I picked up the sarcasm.
    “Yes, lovely. Look, snow. Snow is nice if I don’t have to be in snow.”
    “Are you chilly? We can turn up the new invention we have here, called the heater. We also have air conditioning.” White’s sarcasm knob went to eleven, too.
    “No, I’m fine. Why are you showing me this?”
    “The fourth floor is a gym and entertainment area. The third floor houses staff, including medical and security. The second floor, as you saw, holds the ballroom, as well as music rooms and some salons given over to Washington parties and such.”
    “Fabulous set up. Impressive in all the right ways. Uh, nice drapes. What reaction are you going for here? I’m just curious.”
    “And dense. Though I mean that in the best way possible.” He sighed. “The entire A-C Diplomatic Corps has, ah, disappeared. We cannot function in this country or world without diplomats and lobbyists, nor can our own government function without them.”
    “Oh, got it.” He smiled. “We need to find the right folks to move into the Diplomatic Corps. Got it. What about Paul and James?”
    White closed his eyes. “How does Jeffrey not strangle you?”
    “I beg your pardon?”
    He opened his eyes. “Jeffrey was very happy living here. So was Christopher. You and Jeffrey are new parents. I would like to point out that your baby is less than a week old, and you have not seen her for more than a few minutes for the last many hours. Christopher has, I truly hope, found the right girl who is both not in love with his cousin and able to look past his indiscretions.”
    “Indiscretions?”
    “Drug addiction.”
    “Oh. Well, yeah. I mean, Ames did her share of pot, don’t let her fool you.”
    “Uh-huh. Good to know. I’ll be sure the smoke alarms are up to spec.”
    “Dude, she doesn’t smoke now .” It was, however, another reason she and Chuckie didn’t get along. He’d been there when she’d offered me a joint. I decided Jeff wouldn’t like me thinking about that incident.
    “Oh, what a relief. Am I getting through?” His expression reminded me of my mother’s during Operation Fugly, when she was desperately trying to get across that Christopher was snarling at me because he was interested, not just a total jerk.
    “Erm. No. Not so much. I’m not good with the regular people innuendo.”
    “Perhaps I’ll call Mister Reynolds and ask him to translate it into comic-book-speak.”
    “I’m good with that. Of course, Chuckie’s done some innuendo I didn’t catch, too, so it probably won’t work.”
    I heard a chuckle and turned around. Jeff was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He looked amused and possessive. “She needs some things spelled out. Baby, he’s trying to suggest we retire.”
    “But I just got him as my partner!”
    White laughed. “I’ll be happy to still partner with you, Missus Martini. I just believe it might be wiser to do so as, ah, more undercover agents, if you will.”
    I looked back to Jeff. “No clue. Sorry. Densest girl on the planet. What are you two talking about?”
    Jeff laughed. “Uncle Richard wants us to head up the Diplomatic Corps, baby.”

 
    CHAPTER 69
     
    “E XCUSE ME?”
    Jeff grinned. “Well, us and Christopher. Who’s now got a girl who comes from money. So as soon as we race them down the aisle, we’ll have someone who actually knows the ins and outs of how to set the table and plan the menus and do the fancy invitations.”
    I let this one settle in. “Who else?”
    “Who do you suggest?” White asked.
    “You, for sure.”
    “I’m willing. It will be much easier for Paul if I’m not underfoot.”
    “Paul and James can’t be diplomats?” I was whining, I could tell.
    Jeff sighed. “Baby, the gates. James can get to you in three seconds. Besides, the Pontifex has a residence here, too.”
    “Things were always far too turbulent to use it when Theresa was our head diplomat.” I heard regret, so much regret, in White’s voice. It dawned on me why he wanted us here. To give Jeff and Christopher’s children the chance at what their fathers had never had—a stable life without fear.
    “Doreen grew up here, and she and Irving hate the