Alien vs. Alien

happen to believe the body is Jeff’s, however. Only doctored. A lot.”
    Christopher took the pictures and put his hand on them and closed his eyes.
    While he was doing this White studied the senator. “I realize he’s built roughly like Jeffrey. But he’s at least two decades older, and that shows in photographs.”
    “That could easily be achieved using age advancement techniques,” Oliver said. “It’s done for movies all the time, and law enforcement uses it regularly to catch criminals and kidnapped or missing children, among many other options.”
    “No one’s going to look too closely. If the head doesn’t seem wrong on the neck, then it looks real to ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the public.”
    Christopher opened his eyes. “It’s you. From last night.”
    “That’s what I thought. Can you tell a difference in the Armstrong makeup?”
    “Yeah, but it’s difficult. The brain and face are where we get most input from. And Mister Joel Oliver’s right—the senator’s body has been fiddled with a lot more than yours.”
    “Fiddled with? Is that a technical term?”
    I was treated to Patented Glare #2. “It’s very hard to read. The head is definitely the senator’s. From a few months ago, I think. The body, though . . . it’s hard to be positive, but I don’t think it’s his. It feels . . . familiar, so I’m willing to say it’s Jeff’s body.”
    “Thought so.” I made another call. “James, I know you’re busy.”
    “Like you wouldn’t believe, girlfriend.”
    “Well, let me add a wrinkle. I’m calling you because I know if I call Gladys directly she’ll ask me if I have your okay.”
    “On pins and needles.”
    “I actually figure you’re on duty, but whatever. Senator Armstrong received new dirty pictures today. Only instead of me with Chuckie, I’ve branched out and am with the senator, having the time of my life.”
    He groaned. “Can it get worse?”
    “Oh, yes. Yes, it can. This is what I pulled Christopher away for.” As I said this Christopher made the “shut up, shut up” motions.
    “What do you mean?” Reader sounded pissed. “He left his post? Why wasn’t I informed?”
    “Um, political emergency. And I’m claiming diplomatic immunity for us both. Anyway, snarl once you know the full details.”
    “Can’t wait. Go ahead.”
    “The part of the picture that’s me is from last night. And I think someone superimposed Armstrong’s head onto Jeff’s body and then did some really fancy photoshopping.”

    Reader was quiet for a couple moments. “How in the hell did someone get intimate pictures of the two of you from last night?”
    “You’ve won Jeopardy’s Daily Double! That’s exactly my question. I’d love someone from Centaurion Division to give me an answer that isn’t going to make Jeff pop a vessel, but I’m not betting any of us are going to like the answer.”
    “The Embassy was scanned several times last night,” Len said. “Because of—”
    “Circumstances,” White interrupted quickly.
    “Right,” I said. “Len reminds us that the Embassy was scanned a lot last night. And these pictures are from, um, before that happened.”
    “Jeff said something about weird gifts from Alpha Four, but we’ve been too busy to get all the details.”
    “Not to worry, I’ll fill you in later. So, aside from the fact that someone, yet again, is too cheap to buy their own porn and has decided to choose the American Centaurion Channel for all their video needs, what the hell do we do?”
    “I have no idea.”
    “Great.”
    “I could try to turn straight and we could run away from all this.”
    “That, as always, sounds like such a wonderful plan. You never keep up your end of it, though.”
    “Oh, I keep my end up all the time.”
    “I knew you were going to say that, the moment the words left my mouth. So, going to make good on your teasing?”
    “Nope, sorry, still gay.”
    “Paul’s lucky.”
    “So’s Jeff. At least, we were all lucky before. I’m not so sure about now. I wish to hell you’d passed that HSAC test. I need to run things by you like nobody’s business.”
    “I’ll bet. So, until you turn straight or I get another chance to take that test and see what happens, what do we do about these pictures?”
    “I’ll have Gladys run every scan we can do on the Embassy.”
    “Run Chuckie’s place, too. I’d thought his picture was from a lot longer ago than Christopher says it is.”
    “Fabulous. Should we