Along Came a Spider

may help your case. You’ve told me that you want that help. Is that correct?”
    “Yes, it is,” Gary said. “I want to tell the truth… I want to
know
the truth myself.”
    “All right, then, I’d like you to count backwards from one hundred. We’ve done this before. Feel yourself relaxing with each number. You can begin to count.”
    Gary Murphy began to count backwards.
    “Your eyes are starting to close. You feel much more relaxed now… in a sleeping state… breathing deeply,” I said in a voice that got quieter and quieter, almost a monotone.
    The courtroom was very nearly silent. The only sound was a thick, vibrating hum from the room’s air conditioner.
    Gary finally stopped counting.
    “Are you comfortable? Is everything okay?” I asked him.
    His brown eyes were glassy and moist. He appeared to have slipped fairly easily into the trance. There was no way to be certain.
    “Yes. I’m fine. I feel good.”
    “If you want to stop the session, for any reason, you know the way back out of this.”
    He nodded softly as he spoke. “I do. I’m okay, though.” He seemed to be only half listening.
    Under all the pressure and the circumstances of the trial, it didn’t seem likely that he could be faking this.
    I said, “At another time, in a past session, we talked about your waking up at the McDonald’s. You told me that you ’woke as if you’d been dreaming.’ Do you remember that?”
    “That’s right. Sure I remember,” he said. “I woke up in a police car outside McDonald’s. I came to, and the police were there. They were arresting me.”
    “How did you feel when the police arrested you?”
    “I felt like it couldn’t be happening. No way. It had to be a bad dream. I told them I was a salesman, told them where I lived in Delaware. Anything I could think of to show they had the wrong person. Not a criminal. I don’t have any record with the police.”
    I said, “We talked about the time just before you were arrested. That day. When you went into the fastfood restaurant.”
    “I don’t… I’m not sure if I can remember. Let me try and think about it…” Gary appeared to be struggling a little. Was it an act? Or was he uncomfortable with the truth as he remembered it now?
    Originally, I’d been surprised that he had revealed the Soneji persona in our prison session. I wondered if he would do it again. Especially under these difficult circumstances.
    “You stopped to go to the bathroom inside the McDonald’s restaurant. You also wanted some coffee, to keep you alert on your drive.”
    “I remember… I remember a little of that. I can see myself at the McDonald’s for sure. I remember being there…”
    “Take your time. We have plenty of time, Gary.”
    “Very crowded with people. The restaurant area was crowded, I mean. I went up to the bathroom door. Then I
didn’t
go inside for some reason. I don’t know why not. That’s funny, but I don’t remember.”
    “What were you feeling then? When you remained outside the rest room. Do you remember how you felt?”
    “Agitated. Getting worse. I could feel the blood pumping inside my head. I didn’t understand why. I was upset, and I didn’t know why.”
    Soneji/Murphy was staring straight ahead. He was looking to the left of where I sat. I was a little surprised at how easy it was for me to forget the courtroom audience that was watching both of us.
    “Was
Soneji
there in the restaurant?” I asked him.
    He tilted his head slightly. The gesture was oddly touching.
    “
Soneji’
s in there. Yes, he’s in the McDonald’s.” He became excited. “Pretending to get coffee, but he looks angry. He’s, I think he’s
really mad
. Soneji’s a nut case, a bad seed.”
    “Why is he mad? Do you know? What is it that gets Soneji angry?”
    “I think it’s because… things got ruined on him. The police were unbelievably lucky. His plan to be famous got screwed up. Totally messed up. Now he feels like Bruno Richard Hauptmann. Just another loser.”
    This was news. He hadn’t talked about the actual kidnapping before. I was oblivious to everything in the courtroom. My eyes stayed on Gary Soneji/Murphy.
    I tried to sound as casual and nonthreatening as I could. Easy does it. Nice and slow. This was like walking on the edge of a chasm. I could help him, or we could both fall in. “What went wrong with Soneji’s plan?”
    “Everything that could go wrong,” he said. He was still Gary Murphy. I could see that. He had