Angel and the Assassin

and both had bloody noses, he offered to fuck
    me and I told him that I did the fucking. We sat up, wiped our noses and discussed
    our next move.
    I had to be on top, I couldn’t let anyone but Shawn fuck me and I’d never let
    him do it again. So he let me fuck him, then afterward I whacked him off with my
    hand and we were both happy.
    We spent the next four weeks having sex in the gardens, the greenhouses, the
    woods. Freddie was as jealous as hell and when his dad caught me at it with the
    gardener I actually suspected Freddie of telling on me, for about five minutes. But
    Freddie loved me and he’d never do that.
    Freddie and I went to the village and to the beach, and everywhere we went I
    made passes at men, from my age up to men in their 40s. A good half of them took me
    on. It’s a miracle I didn’t catch something or get the shite kicked out of me.
    That was the summer Freddie told his dad he was gay and his dad tried to
    blame it on me. In the end he understood it wasn’t my fault and I went home to
    spend two weeks with my mum before school started again. Taking Freddie’s cue, I
    told my mum I was gay. She said, “You can’t be. You’re such a big lad, all manly the
    way you are.”
    I said, “Mum, trust me, I’m gay.”
    She asked if it was the school, all those boys sleeping in the same room. Because
    if it was I could come home.
    I said, “I’m queer. Deal with it.” She gave me a hug and said she loved me, and
    that was that.
    Aside from the sex that summer I learned which fork to eat with, what a fish
    knife was and how to stand up when a lady walked into the room.

    Kael sat on the wall at the entrance to Edinburgh Castle trying to look like a
    tourist. There were people from all over the world, so even a man of his height did
    not stick out too much. He had practiced an expression that made him look
    apologetic for taking up so much space. It always worked when he had to be out in

    146
    Fyn Alexander

    family-type locations on a hit. It made him less memorable than if he
    unapologetically took up all the space he needed.
    A middle-aged woman, frumpy looking, in a dark twin set and tweed skirt,
    walked past. She pulled out a cigarette from a silver case. “Have you got a light,
    dear?”
    “I don‟t smoke; it‟s a filthy habit.”
    A couple walked past as the woman said, “I know. I mean to give it up, but life
    gets in the way.” When the other tourists were gone, she said, “Edinburgh High
    Street, the Old Duke Pub. There‟s a patio outside. Be seated there just before eleven
    o‟clock.” She walked on.
    Kael was hungry. The last food he had eaten was with Angel at about eight
    o‟clock last night. But he never ate when he was on a job. Hunger made his mind
    sharper, his reaction time quicker. If he was hungry, Angel would be starving before
    long. The kid ate up a storm, just like he had at that age. He hoped the bananas and
    biscuits would last him. A month ago he would never have believed he‟d be out on a
    hit wondering how his boy at home was faring without him.
    The High Street was very busy. Kael wandered through a few shops to pass
    the time. He had bought Angel some new jeans and leather pants earlier that week,
    and some new shirts and T-shirts, but he kept seeing things he wanted to get for
    him.
    Crossing the road, Kael heard a car horn blast. He looked up, realizing he had
    walked into traffic without noticing. He had to get his mind off Angel; he was on a
    job, for Christ‟s sake, but he should not have left him locked up. What if there was a
    fire? What if something happened and he never returned to his flat? He had never
    once failed to complete a mission, but he had been badly delayed some years ago in
    Saudi Arabia when he was dragged off the street into a van by a gang and had the
    living shite kicked out of him before getting dumped in the desert. The stupid thing
    was, it was nothing to do with his mission; he‟d simply been mugged. But he was
    five days late getting home.
    Stopping on the street, he did something he never did. He pulled out his
    mobile and dialed Conran.
    “What the hell?” Conran burst out. “Are you in position? Why the hell are you
    phoning me?”
    “I left Angel locked in the dungeon. If I don‟t return, you make sure he‟s safe.”
    “If you don‟t return, there‟s nothing you can do about it.”
    “I‟ll fucking haunt you, that‟s what I‟ll do.” Kael hung up.
    At eleven o‟clock sharp, he sat in the