Apocalypsis 03 - Exodus

after him while he was waiting.”
    “That’s dog blood?” I asked, mystified and a little upset about how easily I’d been fooled. “But what about the baby head? How’d you find a damn baby head? Did a rabid baby attack you? Was that in the front lawn too?”
    Rob laughed. “It was a stupid coconut, dumbass. You obviously didn’t look very hard.”
    “You used a … no way.” I shook my head. “That was a friggin baby head. I know what coconuts look like.”
    “You saw what you wanted to see,” said Winky. “You thought I was a baby-murderer,” she said accusingly.
    “I was afraid she’d come out to check what was taking us so long,” said Rob. “Do you know how hard it is to open a coconut husk without a machete?”
    “Yeah, I do,” I said. “I’ve never been able to do that. How’d you do it?”
    Winky answered. “Slam it onto the concrete enough times and eventually it cracks and you can peel the husk off and get to the hairy baby head underneath.”
    Rob held up a hand with bloody fingers. “Fingernails are pretty much gone, but I’ll live.”
    “You took one for the team,” I said smiling, finally letting myself believe my friends weren’t baby-murderers. I looked at the bundle strapped to Winky’s chest. “What in the hell are we going to do with a baby?”
    “Have it for lunch?” Winky asked, her voice pure innocence.
    I swerved my bike almost into hers, shocked out of my gourd she’d actually said that.
    She laughed her butt off and kept right on pedaling down the street. “Just kidding!” she trilled over her shoulder.
    “So where are we going?” asked Rob, a smile in his voice.
    “Bodo’s being held prisoner by some Amazon chicks.”
    Winky laughed, dropping back to join us again. “That’s funny. No seriously, where are we going?”
    “I’m not kidding. That’s what the nutcase told me. He’s being held at a celebrity’s mansion up the road. Someone named … uhhh … Chancery something?”
    “Chancery Crouch?” asked Rob. “That’s just up there.” He pointed a few mansions up from were we were currently riding. “I went on a tour around here once where the guide was pointing out all the rich and famous people’s places. Crouch’s mansion has a couple of gigantic pink lions on the gates out front. You can’t miss it.”
    “Hold up, guys,” I said, coming to a stop and dropping down off the seat to straddle the bike. “What’s our plan gonna be?”
    Winky and Rob stopped and walked their bikes backwards until we were three abreast, Winky’s bundle moving a little as the baby tried to kick its legs.
    “I don’t know. What do you think?” he asked.
    “I think we just need to go in there and talk to them,” Winky said. “Maybe they’ll be normal. Or kind of normal.”
    I shook my head. “I think they had some sort of relationship with the canners. One that didn’t include them getting eaten and allowed them to live down the street without being killed.”
    “Damn. That means they’re probably nutjobs too,” said Rob.
    “Chances are good,” I said, at a loss for what to do now.
    “Let’s do a little recon,” said Winky. “We’ll leave the baby down on the beach and sneak around a little, see what’s what.”
    I frowned. “I was never one for babysitting much, but isn’t that like … poor form, leaving a baby on a beach?”
    Winky shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
    Rob coughed and said, “Uhhhh, it could get eaten by a pit-bull? Or a canner? Taken away with the tide?”
    “Oh. Yeah, right. Better not leave the baby on the beach,” said Winky.
    I couldn’t help but smile. “Seriously, though, guys. I’m freaking out. Bodo is, like, just over there, maybe. I need to see if it’s really him. I know the chances are not good, but I’ll never be able to live with myself if I don’t do everything I can to find out for sure.”
    “What else did the crazy girl say about them?” asked Rob. “Try to think of everything. Maybe she told you something that would be helpful.”
    I searched my memory, sifting through the lunacy for any actual facts she might have shared. “Well, she was talking about Eden and a ceremony and sex and cutting off dicks and …”
    Winky held up her hands in front of her, palms down. “Hold up! Hold. The hell. Up . Cutting off dicks? You mean, like, Bodo’s dick?”
    A little fear trickled into my mind. “Yeah, but … I mean … she’s crazy, right? That was part of the